Boston (Book 2 Rob and Caroline)

Talking

I got up out of bed, just another day. I walked into the kitchen pouring myself a cup of coffee and starting to make Rob breakfast.

"I love you" Rob said kissing my neck.

I turned around and handed him his plate. Pecking him on the lips. "I'm gonna go take a shower, you enjoy" I said.

"Babe, just sit with me. We need to talk anyways" Rob said, "lets go eat breakfast in bed."

"Okay" I said.

"So, can we talk about our not super great sex" Rob said putting his arm around me.

"It wasn't horrible Rob, it's just, jackhammering never feels good, ya know?" I said, "and a lot of it just has to do with me. Like giving me your credit card right after we had sex didn't sit well with me."

"What if we tried again now?" Rob asked looking at me and taking my coffee cup out of my hand sticking it on the nightstand.

He kissed my neck, but I had to pull away. "Rob, I hate that I feel like it's just assumed that when you want to have sex I want to have sex. And that you get super bummed if I'm not in the mood. And I feel like you hold this insane value to sex."

"Baby, that's just because it's important to me" Rob said, "and that's not right, you always have the right to say no to sex, and I'm so sorry if I've made you feel bad about not being in the mood."

"It's just, would you be in this relationship if sex wasn't on the table?" I asked

"Yes" Rob said, "but sex is a natural part of adult relationships."

"I bet you couldn't go a month without sex" I said

"I can, and I have. We've been apart for more than a month at a time" Rob said.

"Right, but I'm talking about a month when we are together some" I said

"I don't really want to find out, because I love you" Rob said "and having sex is part of loving you."

"Rob, this is just hard for me sometimes" I said, "and I'm so sorry that my past affects our relationship."

He must have sense that I'm getting stressed, "babe, no" he pulled me into him. "You're amazing, okay? And I want to be respectful of you and your past, but you have to keep me in the loop in order for me to do that."

"I want to want to have sex with you." I said, "and I want to love you how you want to be loved. But in order for me to do that, I have to feel loved and comfortable and respected in our relationship."

Rob held me against him, "we will strengthen this relationship. I promise you." Rob said. I like this, laying with him, my head nuzzled into his neck. 

I leaned back so I can look at him, "I love you" I said pecking him on the lips. 

"I love you too" Rob said pecking me on the lips again. It felt good laying in bed kissing, but eventually I had to pull away, "You probably need to get ready to leave" I said. 

"I mean, lets head to the kitchen, top off our coffee, and sit on the couch for a little bit" Rob said standing up. 

"Or we can just lay in bed for ten more minutes" I said getting under the covers. 

"I like the way you think" he said wrapping his arms around me from behind. I feel safe in his arms.