Bring It, Bitch ➳ Harry Styles {completed and editing}

Chapter 32: Deny, Deny, Deny

Harry's POV

The only way to describe this morning was utter hell.

I had woken up at four in the morning, groggy and disoriented. I had tried to fall back asleep but for half an hour I was tossing and turning. My nights had been sleepless ever since Ray left my house and she was invading my mind 24/7.

After finally giving up on falling asleep I reluctantly got out of bed and I called up Louis, asking if he wanted to go for a quick coffee before school. With much arguing and complaining, I had managed to get him out of bed at six in the morning and gotten him to the coffee shop that was only a couple minutes away from our school.

People strolled past as Louis and I sat at a table outside, two coffees on the table in front of us.

"So she just ran out?" Louis' voice was soft as I finished telling my story.

I nodded and ran my fingers through my curls. I wasn't sure of what to think of that had happened a couple days ago. I had woken up early that morning and had turned to my side to see a beautiful girl lying next to me. But not just any beautiful girl, no, it was the only beautiful girl I would ever want to wake up next to.

Her long dark hair sprawled out on the pillow had painfully reminded me of when I had put her to bed at that party. Where I had confessed my feelings for her when she was fucking asleep.

"I'm a chicken shit," I mumbled, rubbing my hands over my face. "I can't even tell her how I feel."

"So now you admit that you like her? You need to pull your shit together, Styles," Louis said, his voice suddenly stern. "The reason you can't tell her how you feel is because you can't even admit it to yourself."

"Yes I can. I'm doing that right now!" I nearly yelled, earning a few people's attention. I sighed and lowered my voice. "I can admit it to myself but-"

"Can you really, Harry?" Louis raised an eyebrow.

"I told you, I just-"

"You're admitting to yourself that you like her. But just how much?"

"I don't love her, Lou. I don't think I ever could."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Don't you dare bull shit me now, Harry."

"I'm not!"

"Now see what you're doing?" Louis groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're in denial, mate."

"Denial of what? There's nothing to be in fucking denial about!" I scowled, glaring at my best mate.

Unlike me, Louis kept his composure and sighed softly. "I know you better than you know yourself, Haz. You're trying to convince yourself that you don't love her because you're afraid of the idea of love. But you know what? I've never been buying this act you put up that you're some fucking player who can get any girl he wants. Because you know what? You keep this up, you're going to lose the one thing that's made you truly happy."

"I'm happy with or without Ray," I protested, watching Louis as he got up from his seat and regarded me with sad eyes.

"I haven't seen you this happy since she first spoke to you back in sixth grade, Harry. Just admit it, she makes you happy."

"It's not her that-"

"Fuck it," Louis sighed, grabbing his coffee. The sad look in his eyes melted away, only leaving frustration.  "Maybe you're right. You really are a chicken shit. Can't even admit that you fucking like a girl. I'm done trying to convince you, Harry."

I was surprised at his language and harsh tone. It was usually unlike him to raise his voice like that. Louis saw the expression on my face and his hard expression softened. "Please, Harry," he said, his voice softer now. "For Ray's sake and your own, sort yourself out. Or you're just going to end up hurting her. And you and I both know that that's the last thing you'd want to do."

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