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Felix x Reader - love isn't a lie

Its been a while since he died. Whatever happened that night.. In that exact room... In his house... No one knows. No one even found his body or the person's body.

"What if...What if he isn't dead?" You tried to reason. "Y/N-" You once again cut them off, "What if he's just hiding somewhere? In a cave? In the middle of the ocean? In a hotel in Italy? We would never know if we don't look for him!"

"Y/N-"

"Or what if-"

"Y/N I said enough!" You stopped, your hands falling down to your sides. "I.. I just... I just miss him, okay?" Your voice trembled as you felt the tears coming down again. "If I was... If I was there... If I just talked to him... This.. This wouldn't happen..." You slowly look at your friend. She sighs as she tries to hug you. "I'm the reason why he died, Rogue!" You cried out, stepping back, "I committed a murder!"

She only stopped in her step. Seconds pass before she tries to say something. Before she could, you shook your head and ran for your room. As she was about to chase after you, a family member of yours held her back. "No. Let her be." Rogue, with no choice, begrudgingly nodded. "I just...I just hope she'll be fine..."

You jumped on your bed, your hair sprawled all out as you sobbed into your hands and pillow. Your body twitched from every weep. You still couldn't accept that he died. Why? You always asked yourself. He was kind, gentle, sweet; the best. Why did he have to die? Mr. Productions, Mr. Felix Productions.... Why?

You slammed your fist on the bed. "Why?!" You exclaimed into your sheets, the sound muffled as you threw your tantrum. "Why did it have to be you?!"

-

Hours passed and you woke up in the middle of the night. Still sobbing, your eyes still red, you reach for his diary that was hidden in your drawer in your bedside table. You turn on your lamp and you lean on your mountain of pillows. You open the diary and re read the entries you have been so familiar with already after having read it for more than you can count ever since the news spread.

Before you could even read the words, you already knew what came next. Before you could start reading a sentence, you can already end it. You've been trying your best to find any type of information there is regarding his disappearance. But there's just none.

You've been re reading all sixty seven of his very lenghty entries. You know what he had for lunch last month at exactly twelve twenty three, you knew what he wore on his way to his cousin's birthday, you knew what he did on his sister's birthday but for the event that was most relevant, you couldn't find a single piece of information.

"He would've turned twenty two a few days ago too..." You muttered as you close the journal. As you were about to stand to apologize to Rogue for leaving her like that earlier, a small paper can be seen hidden in an apparently existing small pocket in the leather covered journal. You raise a brow and tilt your head in confusion. "Huh..." Escaped your lips as you sit back down and grab it, slowly. You unfolded it.

-

Dear Y/N,
Heya! It's from me, Felix. Heh. You still remember me, right? Hahaha hey, I miss you. It's been some time now, huh?
Yeah.. I.. I really don't know what to say but... Assuming you think I'm dead by now, which I probably am, I really wish you'll be able to read this. If you are, great! If not, then I guess this is a waste, haha. I just... I just wanted to tell you something. I love you, I really do. You probably already knew that but like, love love you. Know what I mean?
Yeah. All this time I've been hiding that from you and now it's finally time I confess it. I know it's way too late probably but... Yeah... I really love you, Y/N. Just...no words can express my emotions right now. I know, cheesy. But who am I to lie?