Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshot REPRISE

Mon Cher Cara Mia [Dukexiety] (Teenagers AU)

Okay we need more of this ship. Thank you and goodnight. Also I watched the Addams family movie marathon with my mom yesterday. That's gonna explain a lot.

STORYTIME!

Virgil sighed, slumping down in his chair and watching everybody out in the neighborhood through his window. It's halloween and he ended up being fucking grounded by his stupid parents that he hates. Why was he grounded? Because when his homophobic chemistry teacher told him to fuck off he turned to one of his friends in class and asked if he wanted to go fuck in the bathroom. His parents aren't exactly fond of him being gay, but they ain't homophobic. They just let him exist. But what they DO hate is the passive-aggressive teenagerness that Virgil has got.

Virgil snapped out of his own head when he heard a littering patter on his window. Virgil payed it no mind, figuring some kids are egging his house. His parents would be pissed and that's be fun. But then there was a loud crash and a brick landed on his desk with a stickynot littered in messy handwriting in... expo marker? What the hell! His window is broken! That's gonna come out of his allowance! Fucking thanks whoever that was, NOT!!! Virigl ignored the sticky note and leaned over his desk to see one of the twins standing there wearing a Gomez Addams costume and carrying two black empty pillowcases with a big yellow-toothed grin. Of course. Only Remus would break his window for no reason. Oh, and Remus was the guy he made that gay joke with in class. Not Roman, Remus. Virgil hates Roman's guts more than he hates Remus's guts.

"What the actual hell Remus!"

"Read the note!"

Virgil grumbled and pried the sticky note off the brick, skimming over the illegible handwriting. He was used to Remus's horrible penmanship so he can decipher some of these Hieroglyphics. Pretty much all he could read was "Cara Mia" and that's all Virigl needed to understand. Virgil pursed his lips together, biting back his smile. He shoved his desk to the side with all his might so that he could have a stance at his windowsill, trying to be as romantic and cliché as possible. After all, he gets the reference.

"Do you have the dress, Mon Cher?"

"Of course Cara Mia! Just jump down here into my arms! I won't allow you to be hurt... somewhat... But bring your makeup bag! We're gonna have FUN tonight!"

Virgil snickered under his breath. Dear god Remus, you really are a weirdo aren't you? But that's what Virgil found charming about him. He was creepy all year long, and Virgil was always in love with the creepiest things. Spiders, bats, darkness, the depths of the ocean, the coldest corners of space... those are all things that fascinate him. Remus fascinates him. He reminds him of the guy everyone suspects to be the murderer but turns out to be the comic relief. He's basically Ice King, and Virgil lives for it.

Virgil went and snagged his black makeup bag, filled with monochrome makeup products, and ran back to the window. He peered out and Remus was standing there with his arms out. Not even a pillow? Well, Remus was just begging for Virgil to crush him with his weight wasn't he? Virgil saw Remus motion for him to hurry up and he rolled his eyes. He threw his makeup kit down first, not wanting anything in that precious bag to be damaged. After it was set down onto the floor, Virigl stood in his windowsill. He heard a scream behind him. Great. He turned around and saw his little sister. No, this isn't a suicide attempt. Calm down.

"Virgil don't do-"

"Relax, sis. I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm just gonna sneak out of the house to go get us some Halloween candy. Chill. And before you nag me to death, yes I'll be okay and yes I have my inhaler if I need it. Now go back to watching the Corpse Bride with your dollies. I'm sure they'll miss you."

She sighed and walked away, leaving Virgil with a racing heart. He did NOT want his little sister snitching on him. That would be bad. So he bribed her with candy. Hopefully that worked. That was a pile of anxiety. Virgil took a deep breath and turned back around, slipping himself out the window without so much as another thought. He didn't scream, he just closed his eyes and braced himself for impact.

Huh, that didn't hurt that much. Virgil opened his eyes and saw himself sitting on Remus, on his knees with each leg on a different side of Remus. He was sitting in his chest. Remus wriggled his eyebrows at him, his hands creeping their way up his thighs. Virgil scoffed and pushed his hands off. Gross. But that's Remus. Virgil swung his leg over to the other side and stood up, offering his hand to his partner. Remus took it and used Virigl to hoist himself up. Remus went in for a kiss, bit Virgil stopped him. Wow, he's clingy today isn't he?

"Later, Mon Cher, for now we must go back to your house and dress up. We have a lot of fun waiting for us, do we not?"

Remus grinned, nodding. Virgil picked up his makeup bag and allowed Remus to escort him back to his house. Who cares if he was grounded! Tonight is going to be fun.

909 Words

Ugh this suuuuuuuucked I am so sorry. You don't deserve this. You know what? I'm gonna start working in a new one right now. A different, better one. Y'all deserve better from me.

Internet hugs and blow kisses!

~Eva