Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshot REPRISE

Halloween Bull [Snukexiety] (Teenagers AU)

As I promised I'm doing both a Halloween and day of the dead oneshot! I let the amazingly talented and superb Pengi11 Choose the ship for both so I hope you like fluffy poly stuff!

Also got kinda arrived away with the swearing and dick jokes. Welcome to teenagers in 2019! 

STORYTIME!

Deceit and his boyfriends were the kind of people who get really fucking excited about Halloween, but they all got excited in totally different ways. Virgil would always be extra emo and a little less angst around Now, Remus would start being even creepier and talk about morbid shit more, and Deceit would scare people with stories and songs they made up themself and make up false histories behind Halloween. No two people get the same Halloween origin story from Deceit, and they fucking love it.

"So the ghost of Halloween's future took Günther to what we see today: spreading candies around and happy little costumes. That's when the Scotts turned Halloween from a harvest festival into a celebration, and Günther was never stingy with his potatoes ever again. Well, until the Irish Potato Famime roughly three years later. And that's the story of how Halloween originated."

Bullshit is so fun, especially when these two girls believed them. Their jaws were dropped to the floor, but they were smiling and giggling too. They must be thinking Deceit is so smart and cool because they know all this stuff but in reality they were just messing with them. They chose the name Deceit for a reason. Lying was fun. Lying was a game. Lying was fine until someone gets hurt. Whaddup Mean Girls reference! Whaddup Superwoman reference! 

"Wow, you're so cool Deceit! And you're so smart! I wish my boyfriend was like you!"

Deceit rose an eyebrow. This chick wanted an enby who suffers from vitiligo and had a singular mom who is probably about to die of cancer? This girl right here, who Deceit isnt even attracted to because they aren't into girls, wanted a lanky kid with tummy chub who smokes, shittily plays guitar, and has two boyfriends whose only purpose to life is to exist on Halloween? Well, that's kinda heir purpose too. Deceit chuckled to themself, laughing at how stupid and wrong this gal was. No thank you, toots. You wouldn't last a week with a person like Deceit. You'd crack. You'd be toxic. Bye bitch.

"Well, tough. I gotta go. Virgil was begging me earlier to let him design a costume for me so he, Remus and I can match. We're going to a sick Halloween Party with the college students, bringing our own drinks 'cause you never know what's gonna be spiked~"

Deceit blew the girls kisses before sliding off the table they were sitting on, leaving the schoolyard when they saw Virgil leaning against a pole, whipping out his phone. He was probably texting the lovers to meet up right now. Deceit wore a Cheshire grin as they weaved through the crowd of kids with ease, halloween being a half day thanks to the awesome town they live in. That's right! School got out early for them! Jealous yet?

Ah, finally, he manages to sneak behind him without getting detected, and he managed to get there before Remus. That meant they could make the big romantic and suave gesture that turns Virgil's pale white face dark rose underneath all that foundation. Deceit snaked their arms around Virgil's waist, hissing like a serpent in his ear a few loving words thst van be left up to your imagination, reader. He knows how much Virgil, hates that. He has such bottom energy it's hard for both Remus and Deceit to control themselves. There he is! Mr. Bloosh! Deceit did his job well~

"Dee! Come on you know I hate that!'

"Ah, I know exactly how much you loathe and despise me, and that's exactly why you were so eager to claim me as your datemate~"

Virgil puffed some of his fringe out of his eyes, clearly not having a comeback. Virgil is the jealous type, so he's eager to claim Deceit and Remus both when anyone else could be flirting with them. Virgil always gets anxious that somebody would steal one of them and that they were greedy for having a boyfriend and a datemate, but we all know that's not true. Remus sprang into action, taking the two into a giant bear hug with his grizzly arms. Yep, Remus is only seventeen but he's already a bear. Remus sloppily pressed wet kisses onto both their cheeks, laughing heartily as he did so.

"My loves! My darlings! My excuisites! My juicinesses! It's Halloween! Hell fucking yeah! It's also great this year I don't have forty hot diarrhea shits! It's a good time to be spoopy!"

Virgil snorted at how gross,y humorous Remus was, but Deceit just rolled their eyes. They love Remus, but sometimes being called his juiciness gets kinda old. But both of them were supremely happy, and that's all this NonBinary pal cares about. Well, this gives Deceit an idea. Wait, could this be their greatest story yet? Deceit smirked a wicked smirk resembling one of a Disney villain. Remus and Virgil both shared a knowing look.

"Oh? Deceit? Did you have a new idea or did you buy a new toy and are imagining what wicked things you're going to do to us so late at night~"

"Remus, shut up. It's probably a perfect new fib. It's storytime with Dee, so sit down and buckle up. It's storytime."

Oh, how ironic and iconic. Virgil hasn't the faintest idea at what kind of paradox he just created within the fandom. Remus sat down and patted his legs, Virgil sitting in his lap like nothing happened. Words fluster him more than actions, which was weird but it's fucking Virgil and everything about that E-Boy was weird. Deceit cracked their knuckles, finding a way to sit as gay as possible even on a flat surface like the ground, before making up this story by the seat of his pants, and damn his ass was on fire!

"Long ago in Ancient Greece there was a man named Hallows, a descendent of the Gods by Zues and a Mortal Woman named Estro who was given to Demeter after the mother died carrying him. Hallows became the god of the rich soils, his symbol being the gourd and he had quite the flirtimg problem just like his father. Mortals and Gods like, regardless of their sex, weren't safe from his advances. The irony here is that he has low fertility, for all his fertility went to the soils of the Greek Harvest."

Remus nodded along with the story, already liking this fake god that Deceit literally made on the spot. Virgil, however, was always the kind to always be more into the plot rather than the characters. Time to bullshit something good to make his boyfriends proud.

"Hallows decided that one year that he'd rather be selfish than selfless and take some of the fertility for himself. He has always dreamed of being a father and getting a fetching young lover to call his own. But that made the Greek people suffer. Hallows saw this and felt horrible. He decided to grow a fucking pair of balls and admit his insecurities. The people forgave him and to make him feel more loved, began making a celebration for him called Hallows' Wein, because he had low fertility and a tiny dick. Words get lost in history and now we have Halloween. And that is the true origin of Halloween."

Remus threw himself back back, laughing his belly off, while Virgil clapped jokingly. Deceit pretended to bow, making sure they stood up first. This was the kind of relationship they had and they loved every single minute of it. Man, halloween is great.

1300 Words

Damn I'm no good. I'm sorry y'all. Tonight I keep answering the door for trick-or-treaters and I'm feeling heccin happy doing it so I'm really distracted. The day of the dead oneshot might be a day late....

Sorry to be awful.

Internet hugs and blow kisses!

~Eva/Rem