Some Day | Wolfstar

Sixty-two

"Is there something going on between you and Sirius?" Regulus asked Remus, looking up from his cauldron. Remus put his book down. "What do you mean?" He asked, knowing fully well what Regulus meant.

"The two of you never stop touching," Regulus was smiling a little. He looked so much like Sirius, except that his hair was much shorter. "He clings to you like his life depends on it."

Remus found himself smiling slightly. Maybe his life does depend on it.

"I'm happy he found someone like you," Regulus sighed, sitting down next to Remus. "He deserves nothing less."

No, he deserves a lot more. Remus smiled at Regulus and ruffled his hair. "He was devasatated at the start of this term, thinking that you had stopped talking to him. None of us could console him."

"I would never."

Regulus stood up. "He's done so much for me," he sighed. He was too young to be sighing like that. To be sighing a sigh that carried the weight of the world. He looked as if he was going to say something else, but stopped himself. There were certain things that were better left unspoken of.

***

"I can't," Sirius shook his head and threw himself on to a chair. Remus pursed his lips and looked at James for help. "You've got to try, Pads," James pulled him up. "Come on, just once more."

Lucius' wand was not the problem. Sirius was the problem. If only he could just stop his hands from shaking like he was trapped in the North Pole in just his pyjamas...

Sirius held the wand up. He stared at its trembling tip, and sighed. "Lumos," he said, and James' robes caught fire. "Shit," James cursed. Remus got rid of it with a wave of his wand. "I'm sorry," Sirius gasped, rushing over to James. "It's fine. I'm okay. Just... bloody hell," he shook his head. The Wand Lighting Charm was one of the easiest to exist.

"You must focus on the magic, not your hands," a soft voice spoke from behind them. They turned around. A tall, thin figure stepped into the room. How long had she been there?

"No one asked for-"

"Sirius, don't," Remus silenced him. He took Sirius' hand in his. "Please. No good will come from fighting."

Sirius sighed. "I don't care if I can't cast a single damned spell anymore. I don't want her help." Remus squeezed his hand. "This fight isn't over, Sirius. The Malfoys could be planning an attack right now," he said softly. "Think of Severus. Aren't we going to fight for him?"

Remus felt terrible speaking those words, asking Sirius to let his mother give him advice. But was Sirius supposed to live without his magic for the rest of his life? If someone got to him while he was alone...

Sirius closed his eyes. "For you, Lupin," he exhaled. "Only for you."

Walburga glanced at their entwined fingers. She said nothing. "Your hands," she came up to Sirius. "Let me see."

Sirius felt sick, but let Remus' hand go. Remus took the wand from his fingers.

Walburga no longer towered over him. He was a good four inches taller than her. But as soon as he looked at her eyes, he was twelve years old again, lying on the floor. Crying as she hit him with spell after spell. Remus stood next to him, his arm brushing Sirius' back. James stepped closer to him as well. They made it a little better.

Just a little, but so much more than not at all.

Walburga took his hands in hers. Her fingers were warm, her palms smooth against the back of his hands. "Not very bad," she said, not looking away. "It will take time to stop." She dropped his hands suddenly, and stepped back.

"Every spell, no matter how simple, requires focus," she clasped her hands together. Her voice calm, the words flowing in a gentle lilt. "You are too caught up in your internal turmoil, too immersed in self pity."

Sirius' eyes found his boots. He felt faint, like he was slowly fading away. Hearing those words from an outsider was unbearably humiliating. He didn't want to be around them all at the same time.

"Go," he told Remus. "The both of you, please."

Walburga and his friends were two different worlds. She was the dark, the cold, the fear, the pain and the anxiety. She was the crying, the cursing. She was shaky breaths and spinning rooms, vivid nightmares and trembling fingers.

James and Remus, they were everything beautiful, everything that mattered.

Sirius didn't want them to mingle and blur into one world.

"Sirius-" James protested, but Sirius shook his head. "I'll be fine. I promise. Just let me do this alone."

***

"I'll do it."

Regulus looked his father in the eye as he spoke. "I can do it," he said again. Orion smiled at him, proud. "Are you certain?" He asked. He knew the risk of sending Regulus to the Fountain of Death. But the family was in a precarious situation. The risk was worth it. Painful, but worth it all the same.

"Abraxas Malfoy has found the location of the Fountain," Orion said. "If he did it, then we can as well."

"How?"

"Kreacher." Orion replied simply, then explained. "We send him to Grimmauld Place. He will spy on them for us."

"That's too dangerous, father. The Malfoys might see him," Regulus' voice had a certain urgency to it.

"Then he better take care." Orion stood from his seat, and walked to where Regulus was standing. He placed his hand on Regulus' shoulder. "Do you want to do this or not, Regulus?" He asked gently. "I am giving you a choice."

Regulus looked at him resolutely. "I do, father."

"House-elves are very powerful creatures," Orion said. "Besides, he is of no great consequence to us. He is simply a most faithful servant. If he loses his life, he will be honoured as an ally of the House of Black."

Regulus bit his lip to keep quiet.

"I'm very proud of you, son," Orion said quietly. Regulus could feel the sadness in his voice. He knew how badly Orion wanted to say those words to Sirius.

"You will be a great wizard some day," Orion went on. "You will do our family proud."