"He hurted me but I still want him.
He don't want me but I still love him.
Loving a person is so confusing like swimming in the sea not knowing the direction."
Love is 4 letter word, very small word but have capability of expressing whole world's em...
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Dear Diary,
It hurts when people compare you to someone but you ignore them because for you, they mean nothing. But it hella hurts when your own parents compare you to someone else and it hurts more and more when that person is your cousin or sibling.
My father did that. He always compared me with his sister's daughter who is 2 years younger than me.
The reason..? I scored less this time. I failed in maths, the subject which vyom and my mom likes the most and the subject which is highly viewed in Indian society.
I was never like that from childhood. If you see my report cards of 1st standard till 5th standard, I always got A+ in maths and all other subjects but my interest started getting low when I gave my first exam of 6th standard in which I got 12 Marks out of 25.
That time, my maam told me improve but I didn't even when I tried hard, I failed. From that day my interest for maths was just like our grandparents loving remix of a kid songs which is impossible.
Disregarding my disinterest in maths, I still tried and tried but was always in vain. This time is also the similar outcome.
It isn't the first time I am failing in maths. I was embarassed of it when I knew I shouldn't be embarassed.
I was scolded soo much. They were scolding me like I failed my whole life and not just a normal test of maths. For us, Indian students, 'Failing' in an exam means Failing our whole life.
On top of it, vyom getting his left hand fractured made my heart feel more pain but I didn't knew that in future, this pain will make my heart more stronger... More stronger so that I can survive in this unfair world.
Getting hurt while being worry for someone is a hard emotion to explain.
Is this how growing up feels like..? If it does, then I don't want to grow up.
Yours, Vaishnavi.
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