The Sun is Gone

Dread

Elizabeth's POV
I stared at Kurt as he sat across from me at our kitchen island, eating a slice of pizza and thumbing through an old magazine that had been sitting on the counter. I marveled at the way he so effortless fit back into my life every time. We fell into a routine so easily, and everything felt right for once. He was always more beautiful than I remembered—my memory never did justice to anything regarding Kurt.
His blonde hair looked golden in the overhead light from the kitchen, and his flawless skin looked alabaster. His perfectly shaped face was relaxed as he read the magazine—such a mundane, ordinary thing, and yet he looked like he could have been an angel, or a statue carved from marble. I couldn't understand how things had gotten so tumultuous between us. I loved him so much.
What kind of person was I, staying with Craig? I had returned to him when Kurt broke up with me, because I was hurting, and I was scared to be alone. But those weren't the right reasons to stay in a relationship, and to be engaged to someone, especially when you know that you're in love with someone else.
There had been a few times where I thought that Kurt was out of my life forever, but I was starting to discover that it was always going to be impossible for us to stay away from one another. But I couldn't live a lie. I hated myself. I needed to remedy this. I knew running away from Craig with no explanation was completely cowardly, and yet it's what I wanted to do, more than anything.
"Why don't I just come with you tomorrow?" I asked Kurt for what had to have been at least the fifteenth time in the past few days. "I think Dave likes me enough to let me sleep on his floor for a night."
Kurt raised his eyes and looked at me with such adoration that my heart could melt.
"Liz, we talked about it. We're going to take a bit of time and do this the right way."
"God, Kurt," I whined, half-playfully. "When did you become the responsible one?"
"I think responsible might be a stretch. I have no real job, practically no money and I live on my friend's couch." Kurt chuckled.
"Well, I said responsible, not stable," I answered, walking around the island and wrapping my arms around him, giving him a kiss on his stubbly cheek.
"That's fair," he answered as we both laughed. I rested my head on his shoulder and he put an arm around me. Things were so effortless with Kurt. That meant more to me than any material thing ever would.
"I just love you more than anything," I told him softly. He turned and wrapped both of his arms around me.
"I love you, Elizabeth. You are everything." He pressed a kiss against my forehead, and we stayed that way for a perfect moment. I felt a looming sadness lingering over us that I just couldn't shake. We couldn't be together yet. Kurt was going to leave, without me, for now. I was so afraid that things wouldn't work out.

Wednesday evening arrived much sooner than I would have liked. We had agreed that he would leave then, so that he was safely gone long before Craig arrived back. But I was having a horribly difficult time letting him go.
"Kurt," I cried, clinging to him, my arms wrapped around his neck. "Please don't leave. Don't leave me here."
I saw such pain in his eyes when he looked at me.
"Elizabeth," he choked. I kissed him, needing to know that he was here with me, and needing him to know every ounce of how much I loved him. He kissed me back, the same emotions flooding from him as he put his hands on the side of my face and held me close.
"Sweetheart," he breathed, pressing his forehead to mine. "It's all going to be okay. I promise. In the end we'll make this all work. A few weeks or so and my album will be released, you'll be able to end things with Craig, and then we can finally be together the right way, okay?"
I nodded, tearfully.
"Believe me, Liz, it is killing me to leave you here. I won't feel alive again until I have you."
"Please don't go yet," I begged. I was so afraid to let him walk away again. I felt my heart racing and my body shaking all over as I my anxiety threatened to break me. Kurt wrapped his arms around me more tightly, holding me against him like he always did—like he was bracing to help withstand the storms inside my mind. He could always lessen my pain—except when I couldn't be with him.
"Liz, I just don't want to be here when he gets back," Kurt said gently. "Imagine how much worse that would make everything."
"I—I know," I answered, warm tears suddenly streaming from my eyes. "Kurt, I'm a horrible person."
"I'm the one who showed up here. I'm the one who can't stay away from you. I shouldn't keep doing this to you. And I won't. This is the last time it will ever be this way. Okay?" Kurt rested his forehead against mine again and looked into my eyes the way he always did. His eyes were a stormy, tormented blue, but they were honest, and he was right. We could fix this now, unlike before. We could finally do things right the right way.
Kurt used his thumbs to brush away my tears.
"How about I stay for a little while longer and we'll set an alarm for really early?" he suggested.
"Please?" I said softly. I just wanted one more chance to cuddle up with him and fall asleep in his arms, where the rest of the world didn't matter.