The Sun is Gone

And I Love Her

A/N: I'm super excited to see the attention this story has been getting lately. Over 200 views... you guys are awesome! I'm sorry it has taken a little while for me to update this time, but it shouldn't be this way from now on. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy the story!

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My mind begins to strain
And my thoughts begin to run
I've played it out
I can't seem to find the peace
I've heard about
Am I not supposed to?
So every day I could lose it all
Don't let this concern you
So will you catch me if I fall
And keep me elated

["Against the Wall" Seether]

Krist and Shelli were throwing a party upstairs.  It was the third time this week.  I could tell Kurt was annoyed, especially since Krist and Aaron still hadn't practiced with him yet, even though they kept promising they would. 

We'd been at the first two parties this week.  I even had a pretty fun time at the first one.  During the second one, Kurt and I spent most of the time sitting on the floor passing a blunt back and forth until we finally went downstairs and passed out. 

But tonight we were sitting in the basement, mostly in silence.  I could tell Kurt was irritated because he kept writing in his notebook and then furiously scribbling it out.  I was trying to read a book, but he kept catching my eye.  I didn't like seeing him restless like this.

"What's the matter?" I asked finally.

"Nothing."

I sighed, knowing that wasn't true.

"What?" Kurt asked, glancing up from his notebook.  "You sick of being here yet?"  I frowned at his harsh tone.  We were silent for a few seconds.  "I'm sorry," he said more softly, sitting his notebook aside.  "Krist, Shelli and Aaron are all just getting on my nerves." 

"It's okay," I answered, though I still was tentative.  Kurt could have a moody side sometimes. 

"You can't tell me you're not sick of this basement, Liz," Kurt continued.  "I mean, fuck.  I don't even get why you wanted to stay here with me in the first place, aside from having no where else to go." 

I looked across the room into his blue eyes which were dark like the storm that was brewing inside him.  I hated when he got this way.  He became so self-destructive. 

"Because I love you," I answered him simply.  His expression softened as he stared at me.  He stood from his chair and walked over to where I was sitting on the couch that Krist had never come to collect.  He sat down next to me and I scooted closer to him.  He took one of my hands in his. 

"I love you too," he said.  "I wish I could give you something better than this."  He leaned forward, elbows on his knees.  I rubbed my hand in circles on his back.  I knew his stomach hadn't been feeling well lately, which was probably another reason for his irritation. 

"Kurt," I said.  "I have you.  What more could I want?"  I brushed a hand through his golden hair.  He looked up at me, this time with a faint smile across his lips. 

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you," he said softly. 

"I feel the same about you," I said. 

"You shouldn't.  I'm the wrong choice." 

"Kurt.  Please stop this."

"I don't know how."  The expression on his face pained me.  It was like he really thought the was worth nothing, no matter how many times I told him differently.