The Sun is Gone

Suffocated

Kurt's POV

Liz's birthday was today and I wasn't with her. The thought made my heart sink, and to top it off I had been busy all day and hadn't had the chance to call until evening. I kept trying to reach her, but no one answered. She was probably out with him, I figured, feeling the darkness swirling around within me the way it often did now.

I was going to see her in a week, but I didn't know if I could wait that long. Every time I got to see her again, it just made me miss her even more. When she was crying in my arms the last time I dropped her off at the airport I wanted so badly to beg her not to get on that plane. To just stay. Forever. Every time I had to say goodbye to her, it felt like I'd sliced open one of my arteries and I was bleeding out--constantly in the act of dying, but never reaching the point of death.

I exhaled smoke into the night air. The spring weather was too hot in L.A. The lights made everything look hazy. I stood on the sidewalk just staring at the sky, wishing I could see the stars. But I couldn't.

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, man, are you alright?" Dave's tone was different than his usual jovial one.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, lighting up another cigarette. "She never answered the phone. I didn't get to talk to her on her birthday. I hate that she's with him and not me, Dave. I understand, but it kills me."

"Kurt, you're my friend, and I care about you a hell of a lot, so I just want to be honest with you," Dave's tone made me nervous for what he was going to say next. "I don't think she's going to leave him, dude."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, fighting to stay level-headed, because as nice as Dave was, I really wanted to tell him off at the moment.

"It's just that she hasn't done it yet."

"She's got school to finish, and her living arrangements will be messed up if she breaks up with him," I explained. Dave shrugged.

"There are always a million excuses. I see how much this torments you all the time. You deserve better than this." As much as I wanted to tell Dave to fuck off, I started to wonder if he had a point. Not about me deserving better, but about Liz's excuses.

"I really like Liz," he continued. "But she's timid. She's been through a lot and she's not going to want to do anything to disturb the peace. I think this all comes down to her being scared."

"She is scared," I answered.

"I don't know, Kurt. I just think she's going to choose what's easy, and it's easier to stay with him. I won't say any more about it. I just felt like I should tell you what I see." We were both silent for a moment.

"So anyway, they want us to try out playing something in the studio before we call it a night so they can get a feel for how it's going to sound."

"Of course they do," I muttered, pulling out another cigarette.

"They're already waiting on us, Kurt."

"Let them wait."

Elizabeth's POV

My mom. Why on earth would Craig have thought I'd want to see my mom? I shrank back, shaking, as she approached. I didn't even have it in me to get angry. I just needed to get away. I couldn't do this right now. It was all too much.

"Give me the keys, Craig," I said in as quiet and even of a tone as I could manage.

"Hi, Elizabeth," my mom said tentatively, keeping a distance between us. I didn't acknowledge her.