The Sun is Gone

Abysmal

April 4th, 1994

Liz's POV

"What do you mean, he escaped?" I demanded, probably hurting poor Dave's ear as I screamed into the receiver.
"Look, I don't know, Liz. It's all weird. We didn't know at first. Courtney is being a bitch, to be honest, ever since that god damn news story came out. She thinks we were all in on it for the money. Especially you, Liz." Well, that explained why she'd left me in the dark for nearly a week. Dave was the only person I'd been able to reach.
I was hiding out at a hotel about twenty minutes outside of Seattle. I hadn't talked to Kurt since before he went to rehab. I wasn't even sure that they were allowed phone calls. But I had been worrying constantly for days.
"I can see how it would look like that to Courtney," I sighed. "God, Craig is a fucking asshole. But that's irrelevant. How did Kurt go missing?"
"Hopped a fence," Dave answered. "Get this. It was like five days ago."
"What?" I shrieked. "And no one has seen him?"
"Apparently not," Dave answered sadly. "Courtney says she's got people looking for him."
"Any idea where he might have gone?" I asked.
"None," Dave answered.
"Probably back up here," I thought out loud. "He can get drugs easily here. I've got to go look for him, Dave."
"This is all crazy. I don't see how he got out."
"Damn you, Kurt!" I cursed him. He'd only lasted two days. I felt sick. The fact that no one had seen him when people usually recognized him anywhere unnerved me.
"You be careful going out," Dave said to me. "People are going to recognize you everywhere you go."
"I haven't looked at any of the news stories, Dave. I can't stomach it."
"Well, let's just say it's been making headlines all week. Be careful, Liz." I felt so nauseous I thought I might be sick. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was finding Kurt.
Before I went out, I tried calling Kurt's house. I figured it was a long shot, since I hardly thought he could hide in his own home. Of course, there was no answer. I didn't bother leaving a voicemail.
There was a steady, soaking rain falling outside. I couldn't imagine where to start looking for him. I decided to go back to my—well, just Craig's now—apartment to check on the phone and see if there were any messages. I knew Craig would be out for work. It was a place to start, anyway.
Before I left, I tried my best not to look recognizable. I put my hair up into a bun and then put a beanie over it. I put on some baggy old clothes and my big raincoat over top. I hoped it was enough that no one would recognize me. When I got to my car I put on some sunglasses too, even though it was far from sunny.
I struggled to keep my eyes on the road as I drove. I imagined I saw Kurt out of the corner of my eyes everywhere I went. Of course, it was always just my imagination.
I finally reached the apartment building. I parallel parked out front and headed inside. Thankfully Craig was gone, as he should have been.
I immediately checked the phone. There were four calls from a number I didn't know, but no voicemails. I decided to try to call the number back. It rang and rang with no answer.
Frustratedly, I tried to think if there was anything I needed to grab quickly before I left. When the phone rang I jumped a mile. After being startled for a second, I answered.
"Hello."
"How could you, Liz?" Kurt's words were slurred. He was obviously really intoxicated.
"Kurt!" I shouted. "Where are you?"
"Why should I tell you?" he answered defensively.
"Why are you upset with me? Kurt, I just need to know where you are and that you're safe."
"You—you sold me out to the media with that stupid reporter husband of yours."
"No. Kurt. That's not what happened. You have to know me better than that."
"I thought I did."
"Kurt, listen. Craig did that all on his own. I have nothing to do with it."
"That's what you want me to think."
"Kurt. Please. I love you. I didn't do anything with the media about us. Please, please believe me. I just want to know where you are."
"I have to go."
"No! Kurt, don't go!" But there was a click on the other end of the line. "Fuck!" I exclaimed.
An hour later, with the help of Dave and apparently Courtney, we figured out that the number Kurt had called from was from one of the motels in Seattle. I drove right over to look for him.
He wasn't there anymore. The guy at the front desk said he had checked out about a half an hour ago, and that he had taken a cab. Where could he have gone though? He could have been anywhere. I had lost him.
I scoured the streets near that motel for hours, circling back around and around, eventually expanding the radius that I traveled, to no avail. I tried driving around near other motels where we had stayed together. I tried inquiring at front desks, although the workers were not very forthcoming. None of them claimed to have seen Kurt at all. I drove back around Craig's place a few more times, wondering if Kurt might have been outside looking for me. But I found nothing. I drove over by his house, but the entire place looked dark. I circled a few times, seeing nothing.
Out of nowhere, I burst into tears, crying so hard that I had to pull over. What was I going to do? He wasn't anywhere to be found. At least I had heard his voice today so I knew he was around somewhere. I knew he had been in Seattle. But he was so angry with me. And he could have gotten anywhere by now. Finding him was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack.