The Sun is Gone

Chance

September, 1993

Liz's POV

It had been nearly a year and a half since I had seen or heard from Kurt Cobain. He felt more like the famous stranger I heard on the radio and saw on TV than the man with whom I had shared some of the most intimate moments of my life. After the last time we met up at a motel, neither of us called or tried to reach one another. We both knew it was done. It had to be.
The weeks that followed were more painful than I could bring myself to talk about. Weeks stretched into months, and months into a year. I took a full-time position at the travel magazine where I was working and my promotion came with a lot of traveling. I didn't mind. It was a great distraction for me.
Craig and I still hadn't planned a wedding. We were both busy and frequently doing our separate travels. He hadn't pressed the issue. And while I figured I'd marry him some day, I wasn't particularly enthusiastic for that day to come. Part of me felt like maybe I'd never marry anyone. Financially, I could have left Craig now, but something held me back. I couldn't explain what it was.
And Kurt. My God, Kurt. I tried not to watch the news or read the magazines, but I couldn't help but overhear some of it. I saw his wedding pictures. Pajamas. I had to laugh and shake my head at that, even if it was through tears.
And then, his baby was born—a little girl. She was beautiful. But she was promptly taken away from Kurt and Courtney based on allegations of drug use. Whether or not that was true at the time, I know it had to break Kurt's heart. Fortunately all of that was short-lived.
But then there were the other things I heard. More allegations of drug use. Kurt overdosing. I couldn't let myself really acknowledge it, or it would have broken me. Kurt Cobain was a stranger. A famous lead singer of a band I liked. Nothing more.
They had recently released another studio album. I knew there was controversy surrounding it. That didn't surprise me for Kurt. I was happy he'd been well enough to record an album. Surely he couldn't be doing too terribly then? Perhaps the media was just exaggerating. 'Anything for a story,' Craig often said. It made my skin crawl.
I had brought along my new copy of the album, In Utero, for my plane ride to New York for my latest assignment. I was doing a piece on Manhattan's most exclusive hotels. I was excited to give my full attention to the album and the plane ride was the perfect time. The magazine was paying for me to travel first class, a luxury I rarely, if ever, afforded myself. I lounged in the roomy, window seat, snapping In Utero into my discman, and starting off my flight to the gravelly sound of Kurt's magnificent voice.

Kurt's POV

Life had been a mess since Liz and I had walked away from each other for good. Nearly a year and a half had gone by since then, but it felt like a lifetime to me. Between the media and fights with Courtney, constant stress and pain, descending into a full-blown heroin addiction, the severity of which no one really knew, I was a wreck. I had to make everything look good for our new album and all the subsequent attention. I was becoming a very good liar.
My only saving grace was my baby girl, Frances. I loved my little bean more than words could express. She was a beautiful mixture of me and her mother, with the bluest eyes I had ever seen. She was healthy and smart. I couldn't have asked for a better baby. She gave me hope in a way nothing else could. She also terrified me as I wondered how her life would possibly be a good one.
I often wondered about Liz. I wondered how her life was—if she had married Craig; if she was happy. Something always held me back from contacting her. Hell, I didn't even know if I had the correct phone number or if she lived in the same place anymore. Every time I got too caught up on thinking about her, I shot up and it temporarily took the pain away. I needed to take the pain away a lot.
Releasing this new album had been exhausting. I was tired of the interviews and the stupid questions. We were gearing up for another tour and I hated the thought of being away from Courtney and Frances. Courtney; God did she frustrate me. I loved her so much, but it seemed like we were always bickering. Sometimes I felt like she just liked to argue. I just wanted some peace. It seemed I couldn't get that anywhere. The closest I ever came was when I was alone with Frances. And that was almost never.
Currently we were en route to New York to appear on Saturday Night Live again. I was grumpy considering that I didn't like television performances and that it was very difficult to slip away to the bathroom on this jet to shoot up without someone wondering what I was doing.
At least my baby girl and Courtney were with us. That made me feel a bit better. The plane ride was mercifully short, and before I knew it, we were shuffled into vehicles, and quietly checked in to the Waldorf. When I finally got a moment of peace and quiet in my room, I shot up, and all was right with the world.

Liz's POV

I was elated to be staying at some of Manhattan's most exclusive hotels for my assignment. I was full of excitement as the taxi took me right through midtown to fifth avenue. I was dropped off in front of one of the most iconic hotels in the city. The driver grabbed my luggage and I paid my fare. Then I stared up at the gorgeous building, in awe that I really got to do this as a job. I walked forward, luggage in tow, into the famous Waldorf Astoria Hotel.