The Sun is Gone

Responsibilities

Kurt's POV

After Liz kicked me out, I went straight to my heroin dealer. Without her, I didn't care. The second I got back to my motel room, I shot up and instantly felt so much relief. I slumped on my bathroom floor, not quite passed out, but dazed enough that my thoughts slowed a little.
I was having a baby with Courtney. I desperately wished it was Liz instead. But I would be a father to this future child, no matter what. I didn't want the kid to have a broken home like me.
Liz had made it clear that she never wanted to see me again, so that made the decision a little easier. I would be with Courtney. Just Courtney. I'd marry her and we'd be a little family with our child. The pit of my stomach burned at the thought—the thought of never having a future with Liz. It was something so painful I couldn't even let my mind process it yet.
I could be happy with Courtney. We were good together. I loved her in a way, just not like I loved Liz. But I cared about her deeply. And most of all I wanted our child to be happy. Despite all of it, part of me was excited to be a dad.
So, I supposed I'd buy a ring and I'd propose to Courtney. Done deal. There was no other way. Liz could go and finally marry Craig. I'd know that at least she wasn't alone.
I decided I should call Courtney and check on her. I should have been staying with her but I had needed to take care of things with Liz first. Now that that was in the past, I was trying my best just to move forward without thinking about it, before the shock wore off.
"Yeah?" Courtney sounded irritated when she answered the phone.
"It's Kurt," I answered.
"Oh, hey. Did you make up your mind about us?" Something in her voice sounded off.
"What's wrong, Courtney?"
"I'm sick, Kurt," she answered shortly. I knew women got morning sickness but it was evening now.
"Morning sickness?" I asked.
"Kurt, it's 7 pm." She actually chuckled a bit at that. I felt the corners of my lips turn up into a bit of a smile. Maybe I could be happy with her—or content, at least. "I'm sick from withdrawal."
"Oh," I answered, dumbfounded. I was sure Courtney knew where to find drugs.
"I can't shoot up heroin while I'm carrying our baby, Kurt!"
"Oh, right." I felt stupid to admit that I hadn't thought of that. "That sucks."
"So what are we doing then, Kurt?" She asked after a moment.
"Well I figure I should come and stay with you. I want our baby to have both of its parents together."
"Me too, Kurt. I want us to be a family."
"I want that, too. And everything with Elizabeth is over. I want to be with you."
"I want to be with only you too, Kurt. You make me happy."
"I love you, Court."
"I love you too," she answered. My heart raced for what I was about to do next. Over the phone wasn't the right way, but I needed to get the words out of my mouth before I changed my mind.
"So... umm... this probably isn't the right way to do this. I don't have any fancy formal words or anything, but Courtney, do you want to get married?" There was a pause on the end of the line.
"Yeah, Kurt. Let's fucking get married!" I could hear excitement in her voice and I found a small smile on my lips again. I could be happy with her and our child. I had no other choice.
"Great," I answered. "And I'll get you a ring. I feel like I did this all wrong."
"Kurt, I love you for you. This was right for you," she laughed, sounding so much better than she had earlier. "We'll give the media the sensationalized version."
"Sure we will," I answered, not really caring. I just needed to get this public and cemented in stone before my eventual pain of losing Elizabeth caught up to me.

Liz's POV
I was slumped on the couch in my living room. My eyes were puffy from crying so much, my hair was a rat's nest, and I hadn't showered or changed clothes in the three days since Kurt had left for good.
It was really for good this time, too. He was having a baby with another woman. I couldn't get in between that. I felt badly enough about cheating on Craig. But to sleep with a man who had a pregnant girlfriend? I couldn't stomach it.
I couldn't stomach the idea of the two of them having a baby, either. Courtney was as gorgeous as Kurt. Surely their baby would be some stunning little blonde haired, blue-eyed thing. Why was he having a kid with her? I knew it was because he was irresponsible, especially when he got high. He hadn't wanted a kid with her. But now he was stuck and had to live with his choices. I didn't pity him.
I saw Kurt's face flash up on a channel as I flicked through. I quickly went back. It was some type of entertainment news.
"Yesterday Hole singer Courtney Love announced her engagement to Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. The two are expecting a child sometime in August. And let's have a look at that engagement ring: five carat diamond and ruby, and absolutely stunning." There was an image of Courtney and Kurt standing next to one another with Courtney holding out her hand, beaming. Kurt wore his typical forced smile. "We send our best wishes to the happy couple."
I died a little inside. Kurt was getting married. Already. In the three days since he'd left here he'd already gotten a ring, proposed, and announced everything to the media. If I didn't know better, I'd say he did it all so quickly to try to get over me. But it didn't matter anymore. Besides, I'd been engaged for quite a while now and that had never stopped me and Kurt. I couldn't be hypocritical about him being engaged.
I could, however, be annoyed that I would hear about it everywhere from both my fiancé and the media for weeks to come.