Hermitcraft stories

Learn to admire (angst)

I kinda like this fic, it's not too fancy but still. Basically this means I am actually insecure about this as about most of my writing, but I'm afraid as usual... whatever. (Dammn writing this took me some willpower)

So this is basically me projecting if you can call writing something down that happened to you at midnight while being sleep deprived and changing it some (maybe a but more) and using other characters as that.

So uhh, enjoy
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School sucked, Biffa decided after sleeping through two hours of Physics class. Probably he shouldn't have done so, but he didn't really care at the moment, being too tired to do anything really. He looked up and around, the teacher was not paying attention to anywhere near him so he sneaked his phone out under the desk, quietly typing in the password and unlocking it. He stared at his home screen, looking at the icons filling it up and after a moment of pondering about what he should do now, he decided to open Instagram. He refreshed it, and after seeing no new posts he clicked on the story of one of his friend's, Rendog's picture. The circle around it was green, telling that his story was only visible for close friends, so Biffa was interested in what he wanted to tell.

Dudes, this is very serious and terrible news.

Today, Xisuma, one of my close friends who you all know well has taken his life. I do not know why he had done that, but please act with respect towards everyone and leave us time to deal with all.

Biffa didn't want to believe it. Surely, this was only a bad joke, right? He knew Ren would never joke about such serious topics, but believing these lies he made up was still better than accepting the cruel truth that had struck him so sudden and unexpected. Maybe this was false, he thought, swiping to his DMs, but Xisuma's icon had disappeared, he had most likely deleted his account before.. before killing himself. Only if he could just have written him, asked if he's okay, the thoughts drawled over him, he started feeling like this was all of his fault.

Maybe if he would have been there more with him, if he had told him "I love you"s or "you're amazing"s just one more time, maybe if he was a better friend this wouldn't happen, Xisuma would be still here. He couldn't help but feel like he failed, himself and X.

And he knew, he saw in some suicide awareness post somewhere that you shouldn't blame yourself about others uhh... he didn't want to say the words, not even is is head, like he was afraid of it, but not feeling like you are the one who failed seemed unreal, incorrect ritght there, only if he could've helped...

What will he do without X? X was his best friend, the one person he came with all of his problems, who could talk to him about anything and he would listen, who he would help with all he hot because he mattered to home the most, who was there by his side through everything, what will he do without him. He wanted to tell him "I love you" just one more time, he wanted to tell how much he mattered to Biffa just once more, he wanted X to know.

Biffa knew he would collapse after this, Xisuma was his pillar, who would have kept him standing when he was down. Biffa needed someone, he wanted someone who he can tell what happened, on whose shoulder he can cry, to who he can ask for advice, but that person in his life was X.

And who would want to be friends with a wreck? With someone who cannot give, only take comfort, advice and help because he's so broken? No one. Biffa would be alone, he would be left with himself through the pain. He missed Xisuma so much. He would surely go mad, this couldn't be tal right?

Maybe it was just a dream, just a bad nightmare he wanted to wake up from this, he wanted to escape this, he wanted to be free, he couldn't bear it anymore-

He sat up on his bed, sweat running down his face. This was just a dream. All a dream, Xisuma was alright, alive and okay.

He took his phone from the nightstand at his beside his bed in a hurry, unlocked it at lightning speed and instantly clicked on the pink and orange camera icon. He opened his DMs, X was there, his last message an

I love you Biff <3

Biffa sighed out of relief. X was alright. Oh how much Biffa wanted to tell him how much he loved him, he had just realized how much the Xisuma had meant to him, X was his everything.

Maybe sometime he will tell. He thought, setting his phone aside, laying back in bed again. It would be weird to message someone in the middle of the night to affirm them about how much they mean to him. But it was clear for Biffa that he would go crazy without his best friend.