So, I spent 5 hours doing this... There are some NSFW and super shippy stuff, so if you don't like that don't read it.
Also: Thank you for 10k reads, I don't know how to thank it well... Love for everyone who read this book <3
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Mumbo: That pasta was good, say my compliments to the chef
Cleo, to the chef: Hey, you have beautiful eyes
---
Zedaph, to a bee: High five!
*be actually high fives him*
Zed: yeyy
---
Stress: Iskall, did you do the dishes?
Iskall: I thought you wanted to do that
Stress: Well, you were wrong
---
Ren: I love friendship, almost as much as I love myself
---
Mumbo, with flowers: Happy one year Cleo!
Cleo: I'm 132 years old
---
Iskall: Look at this man, he's magic man, he's gonna touch this fire.
TFC: Touches wood in campfire
---
Zedaph: Impulse I have a question for you
*jumps underwater, pointing at Impulse's legs*
Zed: WhY Do YOu wEAr cRoCS undErwATer
---
Joe: I'm maybe just a hermit at day, but at night I'm a NiGHt HerMit
---
Ex: The first time I met you I could tell that you were gay
Ren: Well, I wasn't really hiding it
Ex: No, Like I Could Tell
Ren: O-okay
---
Bdubs: Look at that fucking cornfield, that's a nice cornfield.
Bdubs, walking in between the plants: This is a nice cornfield
---
Doc, browsing his phone: Gay marriage is now legal in America
Doc: Wanna get married?
Ren: Yea, let's go baby
---
*When they were 15*
Ex: *walks in the room with a gun*
Ex: *shoots chandelier*
Xisuma: This is why mom doesn't like you
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Joe: Ex what do you wanna be?
Ex: President.
Joe: Aww
Ex: So I can make slavery legal again
Joe: A- aww *runs away*
---
Grian: I don't follow rules. I follow cats and social media.
---
Doc, trying to improve his English: What are friends with benefits?
X: Uhmm... a special type of friends
Doc: Like us?
X: What, no!
---
Iskall: *busts into Grian's base*
Iskall: WaKe uP SLeePyHEad
Grian: What the fuck?
Ex, who's now visible from behind Grian: What the hell man?
Iskall: OOOOOooooooHHHhhhhh
---
Bdubs, packing for a camp: A fly swatter in case someone is trying to get your food and you're like no, and slap them.
---
Doc: Booo
Ren: Stop, I could've dropped my croissant
---
X: What was the only thing I told you not to do?
Biffa: Burn the kitchen down
X: And what did you do?
Biffa: Made you dinner
X:
Biffa:
Biffa: And burnt the kitchen down
---
Stress: Imagine being paid for being cute
Iskall: You'd be rich
Stress: *blushes*
---
Bdubs: Speed limit 40 huh? What about 43?
---
Ren and Doc: Sees anti-gay-rights protesters
Doc: Watch this motherfuckers *kisses Ren*
---
Grian: Dear diary, today I lost my diary so I'm writing on my two Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs.
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Jevin: You had a crush on me? So embarrassing
Wels: We're literally boyfriends
Jevin: Still
---
Grian and Iskall: Mumbo, why are you late from the Sahara meeting?
Mumbo: At technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bought of unconsciousness.
Iskall: Did you oversleep again?
---
X: Ex what have you got there?
Ex: A knife!
X: Nooo
---
Grian, at 3am: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and she would be called Mozzarella?
Ex: I love you, but shut the fuck up it's three am, and I want to sleep.
---
X: I hope you guys have an explanation for this
Tango: We have three actually
Zed: Pick your favourite
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Ren: C'mon Doc, I wasn't that drunk last night
Doc: You tried to colour my face with a highlighter because I Was ImPOrtaNT
Ren: Because you are >:(
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Keralis: Sabra gives you all nutrition you need.
Keralis: Like 0 gran trans fat, and Oh mY gOd cHolESterOl.
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Grian: How do you know what's good for me?
Grian: ThAT's My oPIniON
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Ren: Holy mothertrucker that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick
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Xisuma: *diving past gay marriage protesters*
Biffa, out the window: I LOVE SUCKING D*CK! I LOVE SUCKING D*CK!
---
Sign: Road works ahead
TFC: Yeah, sure hope it does
_
YOU ARE READING
Hermitcraft stories
FanfictionFINISHED Reposted bc fuck it. I no longer associate with most of these stories and do not agree with what happens im them. Short connected oneshots, some with shipping and some without. A book of stories I wrote about Hermitcraft member's Minecraft...
