Forest // Changlix

Chapter 39

Any ideas on what's going to happen?

Also maybe double update again today since this is a short chapter :))

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[8] dear diary,

Again a new day passed, I'm laying in my bed at night, missing the person I love.

I've been thinking about the hug we had yesterday.
I mean it was just a hug. Nothing special.

But to me it felt so good.
Like.
I'm with my other half again, like I'm complete.

But, I don't understand why he was treating me differently than everyone else. He was cold and just not in a single way caring towards me.

Oh yea.

Right.

I told him to get out the house.
To leave and not come back in a whole month.

I basically kicked him out saying "you should change"

I know I didn't mean it that way... but it pretty much sounded like it.

That's probably why.

Also the anonymous guy that left that letter for me is for some reason still on my mind.

Maybe he's right?

Maybe I should talk to someone, let all my frustration and emptiness out.

I still don't know how things are between me and Changbin. Are we together, are we not?

Damn it I'm so in love with him.

My soul and heart belong to him.

No one can break me like he can.

I just want to go back to him, be with him, have him by my side.

... because that's the only way I can be happy.

And even though I'm slowly falling apart without him, I still can't talk to anyone about it.

I just don't want to always be the one asking for their help.

I wish I could know why this always happens to me and Changbin.
For some reason there's always something that brings us apart. Why can't we just live happily for a little while whout being separated again.

I envy Chan and Jeongin.

They've been together for as long as I can remember, and they almost never had any problems.

Mine and Changbins relationship really had very high highs and very low lows and we haven't been together for a long time.

But honestly, thinking about that now, I think all of those lows made me cling onto him more. They made the love and affection I have for him stronger.

Anyway, at least this helps me write down a bit of my feelings. I'm going to sleep now :)

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