Forest // Changlix

Chapter 86

Felix stopped walking when he saw the lights. The lake. The letters.

Stars not just decorating the sky, but the trees too, lightning them up, the leaves shining in a beautiful light green tone.

Round orbs in diffrent colors hanging down the many branches, individual colored lights averting from them. They looked like plantes, Felix could recognize Saturn, the Earth and Mars as well as a few others.

There were words written with huge letter-shaped light boxes right in front of the lake, the place where they had kissed for the first time. The top and sides of them were covered in flowers, sunflowers, and they were shining brightly in a white, slightly yellowy color.

Those words weren't just any words. They were special. Words you only tell someone you deeply care for. Someone you love. Someone you want to have by your side for as long as possible.

Felix was lost in the beautiful scenery. Mixed feelings bubbled up inside him as he looked around, fascinated, looking at every detail as if everything was from a diffrent world.

He felt goosebumps on his skin, his heart slowly but surely realizing what was happening around him, beating faster and faster the more seconds passed. His eyes still wide and surprise written all over his face.

Honestly he didn't know how to feel. He was happy but at the same time mad and frustrated. This was what he had always dreamed of, but it wasn't supposed to go that way! Tears started stinging his eyes as everything started to overwhelm him, he didn't know how to react.

He was still holding Changbins hand, but that suddenly went away and when he looked back, he saw Changbin on one knee, looking up at him with a smile.

And suddenly it felt like his heart had stopped. Like time had stopped and he remembered the day of Chans proposal to Jeongin.

●•°○Flashback○°•●

Felix and Changbin were standing a little by the side as they watched the two couples congratulate Chan and Jeongin.

The older slipped his hand into Felix', raising them both up and placing a small kiss onto the back of the youngers hand, starting to rub it in with his thumb after.

"This could be me and you"

"I will make you happy like that too Felix"

●•°○End of flashback●•°○

"Felix" Changbin started and brought Felix out of his memories, taking a small breath.

"It's been a year and a few months now ever since we kissed right here Sunshine. Even if everything was hard for us at first, I still felt like after those first few months, time started flying by. It started flying by because I enjoyed it, every second of it, every second of you. I know the first few months were hard, I know you were hurting and I was broken, but those times only brought us closer together and I feel like I couldn't be closer to you, even if I wanted to. You're the reason for me still being alive, the reason for my joy and happiness, love and excitement in life. You're the person that lights up each and everyday of mine just by waking up by my side and just by acting the way you always do. I fell in love with the person you are Felix, with the pure heart that you own. You helped me get through so much. You helped me overcome so many of my insecurities and you didn't even think about leaving whenever I failed to get better. You were always right here next to me, even though my problems have caused you pain. Even if I was broken into a million pieces, you still didn't scare away from collecting every single piece and putting everything back together. You helped me when I felt like no one could, when it felt like dying was the last option to finally be free from the pain I was feeling. When you saw me cutting, you didn't say or think I was a freak. You didn't judge and hate on me, but you liked the cuts and scars and you even taught me how to love them too. You helped me out an endlessly deep hole. You reached your hand out to me when almost everyone else had already given up on me. You showed me what real love means Sunshine and I want to always and forever give some of that love back to you. So will you allow me to always stay by your side Lee Felix?" He stood back up and gently grabbed ahold of one of Felix' hands "Will you marry me?"

Changbin managed to finish without any voice cracking or any stuttering. He was even surprised at himself for being able to say all of that. He was nervous but after looking into the youngers eyes, it just kind of flowed well.

He felt happy he could express how he felt about Felix like this, to tell him that he loved him endlessly much.

Now his heart was now too beating at an abnormal pace as he examined the youngers expression. He couldn't read it.

Felix had tears in his eyes at the words. It was definitely one of the most beautiful things someone had told him, but he was just so mad and furious right now.

Tears suddenly started running down his face, his heart felt like it was contracting and all of that wasn't necessary only because of happiness. He started to properly cry, tears flooding his face, slight sobs escaping his throat and becoming worse with each slowly passing second.

And when Changbin reached a hand out to wipe those tears away from Felix' face, the younger slapped his hand away, pushing him backwards shortly after.

Changbin stopped functioning at Felix' action. He took a step back from the force, looking at Felix' mixed expression, the tears, the sobbing. Was he sad? Mad? Happy? What was he feeling?

Changbin didn't know, but his heart practically stopped. He ruined everything. He failed.

"I hate you Ch-Changbin!" Felix cried out, walking closer to Changbin and using his fists to punch onto his chest. It wasn't with much power, it was fairly weak, but he kept doing it over and over again, repeating his words as more and more tears kept pouring out of his eyes.

"Why did you h-have to d-do this?"
"I hate y-you so m-much"

Changbin felt his heart slowly breaking into more and more pieces the more he listened. He just stood there, blancly taking everything in, not knowing whether the physical pain or mental pain was tearing him apart more.

"Y-you just had to ruin e-everything Changbin"
"I h-hate you"
"I hate you"

Changbin failed.

He ruined his relationship.

Felix hated him.

He tried all he could. He gathered all the money he had, used the best words he could and all of that only for him to get rejected in the end.