vanilla ⤹ 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨

𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞 : it'll be okay.

Jisung

uncomfortable.

that was the only thing running through my head. Earlier, I was beginning to think I could get over whatever this is, but I had a thought that changed that. So as of now I am back to square one, anxious and agitated.

I was currently sitting in the back of a mini van, driven by none other than changbin. Which surprised me to a certain degree, because he drives so smoothly in this lavander scented car. This honestly makes me wonder why he doesn't drive us places more often, but maybe he doesn't like to?

Apparently bin brought the van because everyone was going to the graduation together. Initally I was also invited but my sister was already going to drive us. So I saw no point, and declined.

Though as of a few minutes ago, my sister and a few others decided they would like to drive over to our current destination together, which I saw no problem in because were all going to the same lunch spot. Now, this meant I would go to the resturant with my friends. Which at first I was like, 'yeah sure! That's perfectly fine.'

But that also meant I would be in the same car as Minho.

Not that it was a problem in it of itself, but the one thing I was currently overthinking was simply my own actions and my constant second guessing. What could I say? what couldn't I say? What shouldn't I do? What can I do? What's too much? What's needy or what's too little?

The though of even looking up from my lap was close to impossible right now.

My body was visibly tense, and my eyes were shifting nervously. My legs were pressed together, and my hands were clasped tightly. These sudden thoughts I was having had to stem from somewhere, and the only logical explanation was the dream. Really, I don't know what else to tell you. The dim rabbit hole I was allowing to eat at my mind, had nothing to spare in the reassurance department.

I heard Changbin asking Chan about directions again, but sat quiet. Apparently we were going to some place that had, and I quote, "inhumanly delectable breadsticks." So Felix has now set my bar high, and those breadsticks will be the only thing keeping me together for a while.

"Hey Jisung? Are you okay?" Whispered our youngest, who was seated nicely on my left hand side as I happened to be sat in between two people so everyone could fit. "You haven't spoken a word since we got into the car. You especially seemed tense once Chan brought up something about Minho being jokingly hostile towards him? Did something happen?"

"Oh, you saw that?" I murmured, knowing full well I may have jerked my head up a little violently when I heard Chan's 'joke' out of the blue.

"Mhm." Was all Jeongin said, somewhat hesitantly. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

I averted my gaze just a tad, looking up with a very faint smile. "I'm alright. Just, lost in thought."

To which, jeongin didn't reply. He seemed to be trying to do something. Perhaps read between the lines.

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"We're here!"

"Breadsticks here I come!" An overjoyed felix darted out of his seat and out the car, tailed by Hyunjin who also had a joy-filled grin on his face.

"Shall we?" Innie gestured me outside once he'd stood.

I let out a chuckle. "Why thank you."

He giggled, shutting the weighty metal door.

It wasn't long we had to wait until Taeri's shiney silver car drove up smoothly, followed by my sister's small vehicle which had two other people whom I didn't know, but didn't care enough to worry about. They were my sister's friends after all, and if that's the case they definitely aren't bad people.