There have been many times
where life has tempted
to take those I care about
away from me for good
Each time it happens
I wonder if it's my fault
that my presence
has disrupted their life
or if I'm unlucky
too broken to be around
or unworthy
of being cared for
to be needed
Absences are normal for me
people leave
I'm alone
I'm used to it
but every time
someone is prompted an out
they take it
I always have to wonder
is it me?
Because I'm not
something special,
or loud
my identity is quiet,
I'm withdrawn
I stay within my cage
because I know it's best,
but even I get tempted
to escape and decide
to let someone in again
from time to time
When everything gets quiet
and nights become longer
I stop talking
they don't start conversations
but what makes someone,
decide
they don't need someone else?
I can only go from experience
which not every person
can relate to
do they get bored?
uninterested?
was I rude?
or am I not worth the effort?
I question myself
to see what else
I could've done
to make them stay
but in the end
I just be myself
by myself
I know I can be caring
but only towards the right ones
I know I can be a lot to handle
with all the suitcases I've packed
right on your doorstep
when we meet
with all that baggage
it's bound to scare anyone away
When I decide
to come empty-handed
some let me in
but only for a visit
perhaps it's for the best
other times
I see them come to me
with their mountains of luggage
so I accommodate them
as best as I can
no questions asked
Maybe I'm too nice
too forgiving
too... everything
Maybe that's why
they call it a doormat
sometimes you'll wipe your feet
and others
will just walk all over you.
~~RDP~~
YOU ARE READING
Living In The Mind's Cage
PoetryThe poems start inexperienced, I was younger then. As you read further it shows my growth as a person and my fallbacks. Maturing slowly through each one. It's my mental journey. These are poems are my outlet and help me with my issues when I can't d...
