Living In The Mind's Cage

53.

Stranded here I fall,
Against the jagged rocks,
That I wish were sharper

Alone as the waves crash,
Against all odds they come back,
Just to be barricaded once more

Dead silence that surrounds me,
Reminding me of what I don't have,
I pushed it away, but what for?

Lost in the waves,
I want to be,
Light, as they carry me

Carry me away, into the horizon,
Let it burn me up and warm me
As I rock back and forth

Eyes closed, I am nothing,
Light as air, I make no choices,
It takes me where it wants

Effortless as I put my fingers into the dark waters,
That ripple from a twirling finger,
Yes, I want to be here,

Solitude, the one I craved when all bets were off,
The only companion I needed,
And when all was done, I succeeded,

Loneliness and longing, from a time way back,
I have no worries here,
Nothing will attack

Comforting, very comforting to be hugged,
But I never wanted that,
So here I am washing away from everyone I loved

I swirl my arms in a dancing motion,
Feeling the water against my arms,
Why would I ever give up this ocean?

I never look down because reality will set in,
It's too dark down there,
Reminding me of where I've been

I'd rather look at the bleeding sky,
Then have it blind me by noon,
As it sets again all too soon

I don't mind when it leaves,
Because my love stays with the sky,
I look at the stars with tears in my eyes

The moon shines over me,
Calming as can be,
The light entices me, as it shines on the sea

The pool which I lie in,
Neverending as its grand,
I just hope, I'll never wash up on land

This water takes my worries,
As I am cleansed,
The longer I stay out here, the more it mends

I want to stay awake, and watch the sky turn,
But I fall asleep, and I learn,
Things can't stay this way forever

A tide will rip through,
And then i'll be swallowed,
Without anything I can do

As I'm under, into the depths I avoided,
It's beautiful down here as well,
And I feel sorry that I loitered

But I wanted to stay away from it all,
There's nothing here,
And I didn't need to stand tall

I wish it would be as easy as to drown,
I know if I go, I can only go down,
Into the dark of which I avoid

It's too real in the dark and I didn't want to feel,
So I stayed here,
Taking all the time I could steal

The waters held me and rocked me to sleep,
Out here, I didn't need to weep,
I looked at the stars with wonder back in my eyes

After so many months, days or hours I was here, I realize,
This is not where I belong, in the calmness of it all,
I have to go back to the chaos, and crumble with the walls

It's easier out here, in the waves with no strife,
But risks and chaos are a way of life.

A/N: I know, its been a while, a long while. I do apologize. But are you surprised, a long poem and an edit? Me too. I had some lines pop in my head and I went with it, it's different but I like it. Anyways I've missed writing on here. I mean I haven't had any motivation, but I still missed it, a lot. Well vote, tell me what you think, updates are still going to be slow. Still trying to balance out everything evenly so I have enough time for everything.
Please try to be patient.
Until then.

~~RDP~~