Why can't I remember you?
Why can't I remember anything before?
Were you really so bad, that I couldn't take it anymore?
Couldn't stand to hear your voice
Or smell your scent
Were you ever really here?
Or were you someone who just came and went?
Why did you leave without a word?
Why did you have that look?
Why did you do the things you did?
Without a second look
Why?
WHY?
WHY?
Couldn't you explain yourself before you disappeared?
Couldn't you say SOMETHING
SOMETHING
Instead all I have is that look burned in my mind taunting me
Wondering after these years why I still care so goddamn much
Why keep coming back at all if you never wanted to stay?
If you loved me at least a little you would've at least told me
Why
I drive myself mad with stories and conversations I've cooked up
But even in my mind you're silent
Why is that?
Why did you choose not to say anything?
When it seemed you were going to lose everything that mattered
Unless.....
It didn't
We didn't matter
Not to you anymore
You didn't care like you said you did
Your words were always empty
I can't remember a time when they weren't
And you took that from me
Leaving such an impression in my brain
That it chose to forget and blur everything
So I can't see what you've done to us or me
Not what you said
I can barely picture your face in my mind anymore
I have to think really hard
It hurts too much to remember what you look like
What you smelled like
What you wore
The smile that rarely carved your face
The constant smell of cigarettes and musk
Garage and sweat
The darkness of your hair
The tall lean intimidating frame
It hurts to think of simple aspects like that
It clogs my throat in pain and panic
Thinking maybe you could walk into my life again
But we both know you're a coward
And you'd never do that
You're probably dead anyway
~~RDP~~
YOU ARE READING
Living In The Mind's Cage
PoesíaThe poems start inexperienced, I was younger then. As you read further it shows my growth as a person and my fallbacks. Maturing slowly through each one. It's my mental journey. These are poems are my outlet and help me with my issues when I can't d...
