Living In The Mind's Cage

28.

Are you still there?
Starting to wonder, why do I care?
Trying to sort through everything, I'm not aware,
Mind has gone blank,
And all I have to thank,
Is me,

Struggling to see,
It's feels like it's harder to breathe,

And as I seethe,
With frustration once more,
Conflicted, trying to open the door,
But knowing deep down in my core,
I won't,

Thinking things, wishing I don't,
After all this, i've should've known,
Putting on the headphones,
Shutting out the world, once again,
Pondering over, how lucky I am, to have at least one friend,

At this hour at night, I'm not sure, it depends,
Giving in, the only matter is, when,

Even when I talk about it,
Quite possibly, it builds bit by bit,
In some ways, it makes my mind split,
As the voices keep speaking they fade away,
And then they're gone the next day,
This "___________", is horrifying, I want to be okay,

Are we done now?
Have we decided that we don't care how?
Bravo, then take a bow,

As you lay, you're tired, but can't sleep,
As usual bundled in a blanket heap,
Finding it funny, how you've never tried counting sheep,

You can pace all you want,
The road shall keep its taunt,
Even then, your room has things it  can flaunt,

Anxiously looking around,
For what, don't know, clearly it needs to be found,
Looking at these plain walls, at times, reminds me how I'm bound,

As I brush these melody keys,
I wonder what else could these sounds mean?
If it will help sort this crowded mind, then please,
I look to my right,
Seeing this creature,always seeing my plight,
Feeling bad, because he probably knows I'm not alright,
All he can do is watch, and for that, I'm ashamed,

Angrily dealing with my hair that can't be tamed,
And so many other little tasks, that can be unnamed,
Frustrating, can't seem to do anything without being pained,

Forlornly looking, at the pouring rain,
Knowing, wanting, to be out there, trying to feel sane,
Water seeping into the clothes, a physical thing to show the weight,

But even then you just wait,
You stand there basking the feeling,
Realizing you're imagining it, it sends you reeling,
You aren't there, because you didn't dare,
To leave once again,
And as usual you pick up your pen.

A/N: I know I disappeared for two weeks and for that I'm sorry. I don't have any motivation to write and when I tried I got major writers block. Even with this one, I feel like I forced out words. I'll try not to do that again, but schooled started so I'm not going to have time most likely. I'll fit in weekends if I can, but really I can probably write a poem in two minutes out of my day it just depends if I have writers block and if im in the mood for it. Anyway, this poem is all over the place and I kinda want to keep it that way but I'm not exactly satisfied with it either. I tried spacing it when it went to a different thought so it looks broken up more than usual. Let me know what you think. Errors, I appreciate it a lot, once again found images on google and put them together.
Until then.

~~RDP~~