Living In The Mind's Cage

38.

A/N: So I'm still trying to sort through school and most likely updates will be slow, but I do have some poems I've written but they are very dark. I wanted to put a warning here, so please read this. If you are triggered easily by death/suicide then I might suggest you don't read this or the couple that follow. If you can handle, read at your own risk. I didn't want to trigger anyone, but if I do I'm sorry. You can pm me if you need to talk, I just, I don't know I'm going through some things so naturally my poetry gets darker. Just wanted to put this here, it is a touchy subject and I understand if you won't read. This is my venting system, but don't be alarmed I have support I'm just in a rough patch and probably will be for a while. I would've updated these poems sooner because I wrote them on memo when the power was out and internet was down for a week. Let me know if you lost power. Depends on where you live though. Anyway this is a very long note so I'm gonna end it now, please don't read anyway if you know you get triggered easily, I don't want to mess with your life/progress with yourself. Stay safe readers. Since this is a touchy subject there probably won't be pictures I'm still debating but here we go.

~~~~

As it burns, it bursts to flames,
As it cools, it melts again,
As it pools, it expands,
As you reach, for me again,
As I, go numb again,
Will I still, be here then?

As I fight my closing eyes,
The startling conclusion, I realize,
Denial, it's all lies,
But as I grow weak, once more,
I'm still laying on the floor,
Will you find me, before?

As it blacks, it whites again,
This sticky realization,
Dried tears, that were a stream,
Losing life, still bursting at the seams,
Paler and colder now,
The silence echoing around,

Still waiting to be found,
Nonexistent footsteps, sound,
Shuddering, my shallow breath,
I lay here, and wait for death,
Heart beating slowly now,
Bones feel heavy, how?

Questioning everything,
Wanting the phone to ring,
Startling, feelings bring,
My thoughts, start to sing,
Do I want to be living?
Will they be so forgiving?

Growing more tired,
Yet I feel, so wired,
Wanting to fight,
But it's so late at night,
Will they be alright?
I'm losing my sight,

Unconscious I am,
Muffled noises, but there's a bam,
Can't feel body,
Is there anybody?
Crusty dried red,
Dizziness swarms my head,

Lights are brighter here,
Is it really that severe?
Faintly feeling, new tears,
Are they mine?
Am I fine?
Can we push rewind?

I think I am moving,
What is that beeping thing?
Is this oxygen?
Will I see them again?
Is it too late to say sorry friend?
Will this be, the end?

Can we play pretend?
Pretend nothing happened?
The beeping is getting fainter,
My eyes open, someones red, are they a painter?
It's too bright, I shut my eyes and head,
Is it worth it, to be dead?

Do I hold on?
Do I let go?
What should I do? The right path, I don't know.
I feel it's been too long,
Is that my song?
Something feels wrong,

And these lights are bright,
But they don't hurt my sight,
This is a different light,
Where is the pain?
Can I make it back again?
I guess this is where, I belong,
To my family and friends, so long.