Living In The Mind's Cage

19.

Finally here, finally home,
Truly now knowing I'm not alone,
As I lie here awake, listening to every breath they take,
With the fan going on, I really hope this isn't fake,
And if it is, a blissful dream, then I wish to not wake,
The darkness surrounding me, reminding me I should go to bed,
But I'm too wrapped up in my own head,
I really hope this is real,
From just this taste, if I wake up, I wish not to feel,
If it's just a mere dream,
I wish it was as it seems,
That they are here now,
Alive, here, and will stay somehow,
Yet they never truly left, which I hope as well is true,
For if it wasn't , I don't know what I'd do,
I'm mad already, what a little more,
They keep me in check, but can ultimately destroy everything I've worked for,
My savior or undoing, the extreme opposites,
The complete package set,

If this isn't a dream I wish not to sleep,
For if I do, I might weep,
I feel as though I'm in a nightmare,
Seeing my greatest fears are quite a scare,
So where do I go, I have to be somewhere,
Awake or asleep, which one do I keep,
I can't decide, which one is real,
I can't even decide what is my meal,
Indecisive, sluggish movements,
Coming to terms with my resentments,
Still if this is a lie,
Then maybe I do wish to die,
For bearing them gone,
After not seeing them for so long,
Would be unimaginable, not to be heard of,
For the loss would be crushing, because I let myself love,
I do no wish to take it back,
Rather, the skill to do so, I lack,
Impossible, it seems, for I would be dead,
That's the only way I would be able to stop, because doing so is dread,

Once I again I hope this is tangible,
If so it's beyond magical,
I keep saying hope,
As if needing to cope,
Yet, Nothing has happened, so I shouldn't mope,
This poem, is practically screaming out hope,
Yet there's nothing compared to the other things I wrote,
Hope, the emotion you can't shut down,
No matter how much you frown,
It is its own being,
And from it, there is no fleeing,
Seeing clearer, fog slowly disperses,
and there is no other verses,
But still wondering if I'm truly gone,
Or if they are, then I won't really know what will be right or wrong,
Replaying that same old song,
Feeling bad for yourself, when you could have been a pawn,
In a sick game, of my own creation of my mind,
But there are things similar to that kind,
But for now I'm still here, even the sun still rises at dawn

A/N: So apparently I have a life, spending time with family. But I'll try to update every so often, I haven't had motivation, and I've been busy so, hopefully I'll be able to update at least two more times during the next week. But no guarantees. Once again if you see grammer errors, tell me, so I can fix it ASAP.
Until then.

~~RDP~~