I wish I could say
I miss what we used to have
But I don't
I long for the possibility
For the opportunity
Of you turning it all around
For the chance
For things to be different
No matter how impossible
That may seem
Because chances are given out
Like blades of grass
Cut from the lawn
That will surely grow back anew
To start over
And though I know the outcome
I hope to be surprised
But am disappointed
That you are predictable
And although I know this
That it's the same outcome
No matter how much I change
No matter how much I say
What I do
What I don't
You still couldn't see
The blood dripping
From my eyes
Bleeding out in pain
And agony
Bleeding through my pores
Trying to escape
The prison of my body
That housed no human
Just an empty clay shell
That could be molded
For you
And even as I bleed
And I hate what you do to me
I smile
Through the anguish
Through the guilt
The resentment
Because even though
You do these things to me
I am happy
That I could receive
Your attention
Your care
Your hate
Your everything
Even if poison drips
Through your broken mouth
I'd be foolish to think you cared
Foolish to think
The pain was worth it
To suffer
For you
Because you'll never be happy
No matter what I did for you
It was never enough
No matter what parts of myself
I shut away
To fade out of focus
To be better
It wasn't what caught your attention
The words I say never mattered
Just as yours don't now
You've molded me
Into what you wanted
And you set me free
Because you were wrong
You couldn't stand to see
What you'd done
Couldn't stand
That you made the perfect mirror
To show your true reflection
And you hate what you see
Because all the words
Etched on my skin
Lay open to you
For your eyes
And yours alone
For you to notice
That you were the one
To put them there
That you were the one
To breathe me into this life
Breathe into me your pain
Hoping to pass it on
And get it out of your body
Only to realize
That it will never go away
No matter how much pain you inflict
On those who relied on you
Abandoned
You are abandoned
As you have to me
For years to never show your face
To help me
You kept me quiet in the dark
Silencing me
Claiming I'm the one who's poison
That I'm the reason
You've become this way
Yet the brush you wielded
Painted the canvas I am
And you cannot throw me away
I am yours
Just like you wanted
I am seen how you wanted to be seen
And yet I never wanted to be
At all
I hope you're happy now
Because I sure as hell am not.
~~RDP~~
YOU ARE READING
Living In The Mind's Cage
PoetryThe poems start inexperienced, I was younger then. As you read further it shows my growth as a person and my fallbacks. Maturing slowly through each one. It's my mental journey. These are poems are my outlet and help me with my issues when I can't d...
