Living In The Mind's Cage

27.

What is this look on my face?
Even though I was the one who carefully placed,
It's so roundly based,
Yet I don't know what it is, though it's my own face,
This expression, I haven't seen before,
It seems to be the one who implores,
Even with all it sores,

Looking this way and that,
I don't recognize myself, if I'm allowed to call it that,
This dullness, seems frightening, yet I am not scared,
I've had this expression before, but this can't be compared,
I'm still truly wondering if I even care,

The music is fading in and out,
Though my thoughts are the ones, that shout,
It should be my own mouth,
But once again, everything still keeps going south,

This face, doesn't seem my own anymore,
The blankness, is making me rather look like a bore,
I can look at it, though I don't want to,
I can touch it, but my hands don't know what to do,
I feel I've been looking forever wondering what this means,

Looks are deceiving, bursting at the seams,
The beams are breaking,
Involuntary shaking,
The struggle to breathe,
Need for air, there is no relieve,
Deceiving, trying to stop the sobs,
Brushing it off though, the attack continuously robs,

The shaking continues, cold and dead inside,
But there is never, any, place to hide,
Draining as it is, you're wide awake,
Your eyes are heavy looking, maybe for their sake,
The need for something to grab, intensifying,
Though if you gave in, they'd know you're lying,

Shakily speaking, trying to sort through the why,
Can't really know, but you can try,
You remember a thought, though you have to lie,
You can't keep giving them reasons to cry,
From then on, you keep your mouth shut, just to get by,

Though this happened after you couldn't move,
You got out yourself, who else do you have to prove?
These things are taking drowsiness to the next level,
Even then you'd take the attack over that, just to revel,
In it, the feeling of being alive, the struggle of the breath you need,
It doesn't matter what you read,
You can't capture something like that in text,
Though this is definitely something vexed,

These things are scary, more so the numb,
Keep that, as a rule of thumb,
The attack let's you feel, and not be trapped,
Though if you've had them enough they can adapt,
It's still better no matter what,
I'd take it as a natural rut,

It may sound crazy, but I dont really care,
I'm sick of being lazy, and being less aware,
One day I'll be wanting to pull out my own hair,
But other thoughts saying, I wouldn't even dare,

You're heartbeat is still beating so fast,
I didn't mention it, because I hoped it wouldn't last,
Still it drums, so loudly, it didn't nessisarily need to be announced,
Just like these scary things, that like to horribly pounce,

Not even an ounce,
Of strength left,
You don't even need to bother to heft,
It seemed it came and went, so deft,
Yet it also seemed, it lasted so long, it made another theft,

Time,

Time to go to sleep,
Time to really weep,

Time, to feel this,
Time to feel deeply empty as an abyss,

Time to feel it catch up,
Time to let it blowup,

Time, for you to think,
Time, for you to blink,

Time, for you to sink,
Time, for you to go to the brink,

Time, for you to stop,
Time, for you to to get your heart, instead of letting it drop,

It's over, let it go,
It's hard, I know,
Your heart can throb all it wants,
Use it for all your taunts,
Death didn't get you, and neither did those other things,
So let it thrum, showing that you heart still sings,
It's been over for a while now, what're you doing up?
Go to sleep before you get dark rings,
Tut, Tut, Tut.

A/N: Hey I guess my writers block let up for now, you got a pretty long one, but there was much to tell. Granted I won't tell you, you can interpret this however you may. You can ask if you have a guess. But this is something personal I've experienced many times before. The two somethings I should say. Well hey, least I rhymed this time. And I updated sooner than I thought. Hopefully I can update soon again, so you have more bizarre things to process. Anyway tell me if I got some errors I appreciate it a lot, cause 99% of the time I write these at 3 AM. It's actually 2:32 AM right now, so a little earlier (shrugs). I skim over it quickly, post and then try to go to sleep. I'll try to update soon again.
Until then.

~~RDP~~