On Fire (Power Rangers Samurai)

80 - Seasons

I missed the moment when the seasons changed.

All of a sudden, the air has become cold and dry. Few warm colored leaves persistently cling to their stiff tree branches.

I could've sworn the days had more sun, but now it ends so quickly. It's as if I closed my eyes while a switch was flipped.

When I finally woke up, I was greeted by odd faces. Guilty, fearful, and apologetic faces with a thin smile.

They didn't mean to throw me off. Especially since I had just woken up from a slumber that lasted longer than a week.

They wanted to give me time to adjust to all that had happened, one by one. But it was impossible.

Everything changed while I wasn't around to see it all happen. It was as if I was shoved into a new starting point or an alternate reality.

All at once, I learned everything that had happened from Xandred to Arachnion.

Arachnion was killed and the portal was temporarily sealed a few days ago.

The brides that survived were brought home safely. Many of them faced psychological trauma from the experience and were provided treatment.

For those that were lost, they were mourned. Their bodies could not be found, which suggests that they perished in the other world.

My friends went through so much in so little time.

More and more, I'm realizing that everything is different as I look at Terry's unconscious face.

He must have faced so much pain.

His hair is no longer a dark brown like mine, but white like snow. His skin is an unnaturally pale color too.

I'm thankful that my brother is still recognizable to me, but I worry about the differences that I cannot see.

Will I still be recognizable to him?

Is he a nighlok to some extent?

These thoughts struck a nerve and I lose all balance. My head spins and I'm on the floor before I could comprehend it.

I've been hurt many times before, but a state of numbness would always take a hold of me.

Maybe that was my inability to understand or confront my emotions. But because of that numbness, I was able to carry on despite it all.

But now it's different.

I'm broken and there is no numbness to shield me from this wave of emotions.

Every feeling part of me aches.

As I was here sleeping, my dear younger brother filled in my shoes.

I can't pull myself out of these helpless thought because my anger and frustration is too intense.

But as quickly as I fell to the floor, my anger shifts away from myself.

A certain blonde approaches me, using a cane to walk.

He's not wearing red as he usually does. Instead he's wearing blue and it brings out the color of his eyes.

He looks concerned as he reaches his hand out to me.

When I look at his hand, my senses suddenly become sharper and I slap it away without thinking.

I'm not thinking at all right now.

"I hate you." My sour emotions tightened my chest. "I hate you so damn much."

Once again I saw that odd face of guilt, fear, and sorry.

I could tell Jayden was taken aback by my actions, but I could also tell that he was understanding of them.

At the end of the day, he was the leader and he called the shots. He permitted my brother to join the battlefield.

But I know in the back of my head that he never wanted to do this.

He made a choice as the leader of the samurai rangers, with the greater good in mind. He wanted to keep Terry safe.

This part of me knows Jayden isn't to blame. This world with nighlok and limited power is to blame.

But look at where my brother is now.

A loud part of me wants to react furiously. It wants to grab Jayden and hurt him.

I agree with the loudness, and I want to be furious.

But I can't bring myself to hurt him.

He's barely standing on his own. He's using a cane to prop himself up. And even though he is unstable, he reached out his hand to help me up.

I am reminded that this is the kind of person Jayden is.

"What is wrong with me?" I grab my head, as if I'm trying to hold it together.

As I look at Jayden's tearful eyes, I could see every bit of sorry he is.

The loudness wants to say something awful, like you have no right to cry.

I'm angry and heartbroken that my brother is hurt, but

"I can't bring myself to be angry at you." As I begin to cry, my body feels feeble and melty. I cover my face as if it's the only defense I have.

I'm so lost in my head that I never noticed Jayden kneel beside me.

He slowly placed his hands on my shoulder, inviting me to lean on him.

It took some time before I buried my face into his shoulder.

As the minutes went by and I sinked into him more, he held me a little closer and closer.