Yeosang was sitting at the table picking through a bowl of strawberries when the door opened and Hongjoong waked inside.
'Where's Woo?' Yeosang asked immediately, sitting forward.
'I dropped him at San's remember?'
'Ooooh...' Yeosang felt a pang of jealousy hit him. 'I forgot... How is he? Was he okay?'
Dropping his keys in the bowl, his Hyung came up and pulled up the chair beside him, taking a strawberry from the bowl. 'He's alright. Little bit of pain but nothing good news couldn't cure.'
Yeosang smiled, his heart warmed and his relief thick. 'So he's really going back...' A part of him was sad... He knew it was unrealistic, but he had wished that they would never have to work again...
'Sang... What are you going to do?'
Looking up at the serious tone of voice, Yeosang felt his inner turmoil deep in the pit of his stomach become agitated like leaves at the bottom of a pool. 'About work...?'
His Hyung nodded. 'Are you going to go back and finish your degree?'
Yeosang bit his lip, feeling frustration and guilt well up in him like a storm blowing over. 'I...'
Realising he couldn't speak Hongjoong sighed. Pulling his legs up to sit cross legged at the table, he faced him. 'Sang, I know you were studying to help Wooyoung...'
Yeosang gulped, gazing down at the table.
'... And I know you fell in love with Paediatrics... Just like I did.'
Feeling overly guilty, Yeosang picked at his sleeves, unable to speak.
'I think you feel like you betrayed Wooyoung, by falling in love with something other than the mental health sector.'
Yeosang nodded, ever so slightly. He had betrayed him... It had been the sole reason he had gone to university...
'But Sang, I think you fell in love with it for a different reason to why I did. I think for you, it's because pediatrías reminds you of Wooyoung when he was little.'
Slightly confused, Yeosang braved glancing up at his face.
'I've never seen you more alive and happy in the hospital, than the times you worked in paediatric intensive care. You just don't have the same glow elsewhere in comparison to when you work to save children's lives.
And I really do think that it's because when you see those kids, you see your brother when he was little. That same little Wooyoung that both of us remember... The one who had his heart shattered over and over again... I think you see him in the children you treat, and I think you work hard to give them the life you want Wooyoung to have.'
Yeosang took a shaky breath, eyes filling with tears. 'Hyung, it wasn't supposed to happen like this... I was supposed to help him. I don't want him to have his night terrors, and I don't want him to have flashbacks and panic attacks... I was supposed to help him...'
'Sang he has complex trauma and psychological issues. But just because he is a very disturbed person, doesn't mean that he's broken. I think we both underestimate how much he looks after himself, and manages his own health. I'm not saying he doesn't need help - I've been saying that he does for years. But I am saying that whether or not you go into psychiatry, you can, and do, help him.
I know you don't like thinking about it, but this whole scenario that unfolded not long ago with the prostitution, really made me realise just how intensely he relies on us; on you. He always tells us how he much he 'gets' from us, but I didn't realise just how profound that was, until then. He was so devastated when he found out you were pulling out of uni. He's not stupid, Sang. He knows you love it. And I think he blames himself.'
'But it's not his fault! I made the decision!'
Hongjoong gave him a sad nod. 'Yes, but he recognises that you would have happily graduated, had we not found out what he was doing behind our backs.'
Yeosang swilled back a sour taste on his tongue. He hated that. He hated it, and it made him feel sick...
'Sang... You told him about the tafe certificate, didn't you?'
Confused, Yeosang looked up, wiping away his tears. 'Yeah, I did. We even went to have a look at the campus down the road... Why?'
Hongjoong smiled a smile that radiated a certain extreme happiness that caught Yeosang's attention, making him forget about everything else...
'I saw he had the application papers in his bag before...'
Yeosang's eyes widened as he leaned forward and grabbed a hold of his arm, squeezing tightly. 'Really?!'
Hongjoong smiled, and it reached his eyes, filling them with sparkling hope. 'Really.'
Letting go of his arm, Yeosang felt his chest warm. 'Were they filled in?'
He shook his head. 'I don't think so. But when we drove past the campus, he seemed really... wistful.'
Yeosang melted. 'I hope he applies... Did you look at that USB I put on your desk the other night?'
Hongjoong nodded. 'I never knew he was doing all of that. Did you?'
Yeosang shook his head. 'No. But years and years of filming and taking photos has given him talent. He's really good.'
Hongjoong smiled. 'I know.' Sighing, he leant back and stared at a framed photo on the wall of the three of them from when they were in their teens.
'Sang, I think you should finish your degree... I really do... If you graduate; or at least vow to graduate; for one, I think Woo will apply. If he sees that you're solid and grounded, he'll feel less burdened to look after you... He'll never do it it you don't.
But Sang... Wooyoung aside, I think that you want to graduate. I've seen you reading my textbooks these past weeks. I think you should at least do your past self the favour of following your dream through. Whether or not you set your sights after medicine for Wooyoung or not, you fell in love with it, and I think it kills you to let it go... If you graduate you can still work. You don't have to take a shift working job after, if you don't want to.'
Yeosang took a shaky breath, still more concerned about his brother, than his own self. 'You really think Woo will really consider applying if I go back?'
Hongjoong nodded, giving him a small smile. 'I do. Talk to him about it, but Sang. Don't just do it for him... You're also important. You always say that you wish Wooyoung would give himself more credit and do things for himself... Maybe this is where you do something for yourself, too...'
And Yeosang couldn't say a single thing, because after all, he was right. Yeosang did spend so much time begging Wooyoung to make decisions for himself.
So how could he set an example for him, if he was being just as selfless as him...?
~~~

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The Odd Doctor Out | A Drama | S. 2
General FictionSeason 2~ The only Kdrama on Wattpad- Eight boys, eight stories, eight people who are just doing their best when the sun rises each morning, to push through the new day, and navigate the rough waters strewn before them that is 'life.' Pushing throu...