The Look Of Hope

Chapter 8: Lost

In the time after Lydia Brown's birth, several things occurred. First, everyone agreed she is the cutest baby ever. One day their friends were at their house, cooing over her. Uncle Johnny stated, "She's the prettiest baby ever."

Mary scoffed, "Everyone says that about babies." She does agree with him though. She thinks Lydia is the prettiest, and the cutest, but refuses to let it get to her head.

Almost immediately, Tommy protested. "Uh-uh. No, not true. My Aunt Cora had a baby last year, and it was SO ugly. It still kind of is." Dutch smacked his arm. "Well it's true Man. She had a girl like you and Bobby did, Mary. She calls her, her little love muffin. Gag! Barf! But... the kid looks like a lumpy loaf of whole wheat bread. And she cries all the time!" 

Everyone laughed. "No seriously, the kid looks like a cross between Miss Piggy and Oscar The Grouch. She's UGGGGLY!" Gemma shook her head at him. "After Lydia was born, I wondered if I would have to lie and say she's cute. Luckily, I don't. Except her hair looks a little poofy and fluffy."  Both Dutch and Gemma smacked him for that. Tommy sat there rubbing his arms.

Bobby glared at him, while Mary covered her baby's ears. "Baby don't listen to mean, old Uncle Tommy. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Your hair is beautiful." And it is. Lydia's hair is a sandy blonde with curls. It's just as attractive as her eyes. 

When she first opened her little eyes, they were blue. Mary exclaimed, "I hope they stay blue like yours Babe." Bobby didn't care, as long as she didn't inherit his crooked teeth. He thanked heavens for braces, to fix that problem. As the weeks progressed her eyes stayed blue. Mary keeps her fingers crossed. She's hoping it won't change nine months later like the books say it could.

The next afterbirth occurrence happened with Mary. Three weeks after delivery, she was still feeling sad and moody. Horrible things were going on. Her clothes still didn't fit! Some of her pregnancy weight started coming off, almost immediately. Now that she can move around, without any discomfort, she launched herself into exercising. She just had to lose the twenty-eight pounds she gained. She has to!

Bobby often tells her, "You look like a hot mama! I think your curves are sexy and tempting." Then, sometimes, he'll smack her booty and wink at her. It always makes her squeal, as she doesn't expect him to do that. He's usually milder, but then... He can be extra spicy when he puts his mind to it, especially during "fun" times.

This is where he and Mary totally disagree. No! Her body's not sexy at all. She's the one who sees the fat in the mirror every day. As much as she's determined, it's SO hard to lose it!!! Which makes her depressed.

The other problem, besides the weight, is something truly embarrassing. It's so disturbing, it keeps her up at night thinking about it. No one told her, her breasts would leak. It's awful, absolutely awful. The first time it happened was when her aunts had a cookout, to celebrate Lydia's birth. Everyone came (their friends and Bobby's family).

Mary had been trying to perfect the art of breastfeeding. It wasn't as easy as she had hoped, or how women on TV make it look. Plus trying to nail down the feeding schedule, was like trying to wrangle Johnny into submission. So, as she sat in Bobby's lap eating a bite of her burger, she noticed Ash giving her a weird look. She had no idea what her friend was trying to communicate. Standing up and moving away from the group, a ways off, Ashley pointed to her own breasts then pointed to Mary's. 

After a few minutes, she caught on. Looking down, she became mortified. There are wet stains on her purple T-shirt! She flew out of Bobby's lap with the baby monitor, dropping her plate of food. She ran all the way to their house and checked on Lydia first. Her baby is sound asleep, not hungry. So she changed the top half of her outfit. Then laid on the bed and cried.