The Look Of Hope

Chapter 66: Side-By-Side

Lydia started at the beginning, with her wretched attitude towards her mother, and ended with the fall down the stairs. "I killed the baby. I did that," she said through tears. The guilt is killing her inside. Why did she pull away? Why didn't she just let her mother hug her? 

Mr. Raymond stared hard at his granddaughter. "You didn't kill the baby. That's not your fault. Now don't get me wrong, you have plenty to be at fault for, but killing the baby is not one of them." He's bitterly disappointed in his granddaughter. There are a lot of things he has patience for, but disrespect to your elders (especially parents) is not one of them. The fact Lydia has been so hateful to her mother is disturbing, but he's determined to get to the bottom of this.

Her ears perked up at his words. "What do you mean I didn't? I pulled away and Mama lost her balance. It's because of me she fell down the stairs. So it's because of me the baby died too." She wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Shaking his head, her grandfather told her "No. You had no way of knowing what would happen when you pulled away. You didn't plan for it. Your mother falling down the stairs is an accident. Same as losing the baby, because of the fall, is an accident. However, there are things you did that aided it. We're going to talk about those right now. And I hope you listen to your old Grampa because he has plenty to say."

She didn't want to listen, but she did because if she didn't then she'd only keep spiraling down. Her mother is in the hospital because of her. So she heard her Grampa out. 

"Young lady you have treated your mother something awful. While you didn't push her down the stairs, your attitude did. You pushed her down the stairs a long time ago, when you first started having a bad attitude towards her. You may not always agree with what she says, but she is your mother. She isn't a bad one either. She doesn't hit you, criticize you, or leave you to fend for yourself. You've been given a great mother and you've mistreated that gift." He sees she's actually listening, so he continued talking to her. Maybe something he says will sink in.

"Your words have hurt her heart. I know because I've heard her crying to your Grandmother about it. One of the meanest things I've known is when you had your Aunt speak at the Mom's Career Day. That was low, Lydia. So no, you didn't kill the baby and you didn't push her down the stairs, but your attitude led to the fall. Now, what are you going to do about it?" He hopes she'll change for the better.

Crying, she said "I don't know. What if she doesn't wake up?"

He rested his hand on her shoulders. "Let's not go down that road quite yet. We'll figure out how to fix this together. First, let's start at why you have been acting this way."

She let out a sigh. "Well, I've been jealous. Grace is special because of her heart. The twins are special because of being twins. I'm just me." She twirled a few strands of her hair around her fingers.

Ah-ha! "I see. So what you're saying is you want your mother's attention. Instead of paying attention to you, she pays attention to your siblings." He saw her shake her head in agreement. "Lydia, did you ever stop and think that maybe your mother would spend more time with you if you didn't push her away? Did you ever think that maybe your mother spends more time with Grace because she's easier to love?"

He saw the light turn on. "I want you to think about this question. You're walking through a store and you see two plants. One is a beautiful flower. It's pretty and smells nice. The other is a prickly cactus. It looks nice, for a cactus. Which one would you choose?"