The Look Of Hope

Chapter 79: Cookies And Glitter

The death of Aunt Kitty hit Mary hard. After she passed out, she awoke to fits of weeping and sobbing. Bobby honestly had no clue what to do. He's never seen his wife so distraught before. Not even when she had flown halfway around the world to Italy, or the PPD, or during Lydia's attitude trouble, or the whole ordeal with Grace's heart has she ever been like this. This is something altogether different and heartbreaking. Plus she's not at a point where she can even talk about it. She has to get through the crying first, which she has not.

When they were at the family home welcoming people to pay respects, which he's never seen so many come to pay respect before the line seemed to never end, his wife couldn't handle it. He stayed by her side, which he's glad he did. This is because thirty minutes into the receiving line Mary fainted, again. She had been crying, hugging, and shaking hands. As he kept looking at her, he could tell she looked unwell. Her face started to grow pale and sure enough, she passed out. Thank God she didn't hit her head on the marble staircase or porcelain floor.

The day of the funeral was a huge struggle as well. He got up and made sure the kids were up and getting ready. Then he had come back into the bedroom and found his wife on the floor crying. Could she break his heart any more than it already is? Taking his place beside her, he put her head in his lap and stroked her hair. She cried so much it made her sick. It was then he knew she was in no position to go to the funeral. So, he did what the doctor told him to do (and what he's been holding out on doing). Giving his wife a sedative, he put her back in the bed and tucked her in. 

Since Mary was not going to be in attendance, at the funeral, Bobby knew he and the kids have to go. They have to represent their family. He called his mom, who told him she would stay with her daughter-in-law. His father would represent them in her place. She, too, was worried about Mary for she hasn't eaten much of anything. Her precious daughter-in-law has lost weight and that's not healthy.

At the funeral, people inquired after her and her health. Bobby told his friends about having to sedate her. That made them all concerned, especially Lori. Unlike Mary, she's been able to carry on. She just hasn't let it get to her and hold her hostage. She grieved furiously the first few days, and then she got up and began taking care of things. But Mary has not gotten over it. Now everyone is worried.

And so this carried on well into December. Mary still hasn't dug herself out of the dark hole she's been in. Sure there's no more fainting or horrible fits of weeping, but she's still not eating well among other things. Bobby knows his wife is depressed, they all do even Lydia and Grace. All of his training and background are of no help. She just stays in bed for as long as possible, then mopes around the house. She's been an absent parent, which is an unfortunate side effect of the grief. Every day Rebecca asks to see her mother. "Daddy I want to see Mama." But Bobby tells her, "She's just very sad and in the bed." Mary at least still feeds Rhodes. 

He's taken on all the responsibility for the kids (lunch, routines, activities, everything). His mom has been helping with carpool, but it's not enough. Christmas is Mary's favorite time of year, but this year is unlike any other. She's still holding on to the grief and until she lets it go she's going to continue to be in this dark hole.

On one Saturday, Rebecca was tired of not really seeing her mother. Her daddy was carrying her siblings out to lunch at the sandwich shop. She told him "I don't want to go. I want to stay here please. Mama's here and I know she'd get me if I did something naughty." Bobby just wasn't in the mood to argue, so he gathered the rest of the children and took them to lunch. Rhodes and Rebecca stayed home.