Chapter 61: Merry Humbug

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Christmas Eve seemed to sneak up on Mary this year. Sure. All of the presents are bought and wrapped. Sure. The house is decorated in beautiful Christmas trimmings. Sure. Christmas music has been playing in her home, since the day after Thanksgiving (much to her husband's dismay). However, she will never host another holiday meal at her house again. 

Thanksgiving was a big pumpkin pie to the face. It was a catastrophe, a fiasco, one jalapeño too much, an unmitigated disaster. Bobby's Granny can turn even the sweetest drink sour. "Oh, Robert! Your house is so wonderful. You must be so proud." Then she turns her head and says "Mary, the house looks clean. Did you dust last week?" 

Last week! How kind. Her way of saying "Your house isn't even fit for a hobo." And then, as the second glass of Johnny and Lori's wine is served, she says "Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at dinner." Thank you Granny for making Thanksgiving feel dirty. But the worst is when the company asked Lydia about her after-school activities. She told her Aunts and Uncles about her troop, Swallow Tails. Well, Granny says "This is easily the most pointless conversation we've ever had." 

It was then, Bobby practically squeezed her thigh off under the table. She wasn't sure who he was restraining, himself or her or both? To say her daughter's troop group is pointless is a step too far. Even her own prim and proper Aunt Kitty is more mellow than this rude, snobby woman. Nope! Never again will she host a holiday meal. Never, ever, ever.

Tonight, thank goodness, they're going to Bobby's parents. His dear Granny is staying with them over Christmas. Poor Ms. Katie! At least she isn't coming to their house. Seeing her at one of the happiest times of the year is bad enough. The woman wreaks of drama and a bad headache. 

Getting into the Christmas spirit, Mary had all of her children dress in festive clothing. On the twins are striped gingerbread man onesies. Rebecca wore red and white stripes with a gingerbread girl's face, on the front. A headband with a big red bow sat atop her head. Rhett wore green and white stripes with a gingerbread man's face. 

The girls are dressed in plaid buffalo checks. Lydia wore skinny jeans and a black long sleeve fitted T-shirt. She had a red and black buffalo check, flannel, zip vest over it. She insisted on wearing her black boots. "Mommy can you put my hair in a top knot?" she asked. Of course, her mother said yes.

Grace is a little bit fancier than her sister. She wore black leggings, with a grey reindeer sweater. Attached to the bottom of the sweater is a buffalo check skirt (the same color as Lydia's vest). The reindeer's face is done in buffalo check too and outlined in pearls. She also wanted to wear her black boots, but unlike her sister, her hair is down with a red hair bow in her hair. In Grace's words, "I love bows Mommy, especially Christmas bows."

Mary decided to match her daughters. She wore a long-sleeve, black-fitted, sweater dress. On top of the dress is a buffalo plaid blanket scarf. Her brown knee-high boots are on her feet. She even got Bobby in on the family fun. Instead of his normal stripes, he matched his girls. He wore a red and black buffalo plaid button-down shirt.

After inspecting her family, Mary wondered if she should change the twins to plaid too. Nah! They are adorable as is. When everyone had finished dressing, she gathered the family into the living room. Their tall fur tree is there, adorned with white ornaments. The girls begged to have the theme of White Christmas. They love that song! 

Once everyone had assembled, in front of the tree, she took pictures of Bobby and the kids. Then he did the same with her and the children. Their family is so attractive, at least Mary thinks so. Apparently, other people think so too, according to the responses she received from their family photo Christmas card.

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