The Look Of Hope

Chapter 50: Forgetfulness

Following the birth of Rhett and Rebecca, life tried to return to normal. But twins are not normal. If one cries, they both cry. If one is asleep, it doesn't necessarily mean the other one will be. Twins are even more tiring after birth than in-utero. Feeding is the same thing. 

Trying to get them on a schedule is easy, but the feeding is interesting. At first, Mary was wearing herself out feeding one at a time. Then she tried her hand at tandem feeding. That was difficult,  holding them, not the feeding itself. Holding two little babies, at the same time, is heavy. Her arms ached.

Even with all of this, that's not the worst part. Her uterus would cramp after nursing. It is terrible! Everything is terrible, thanks to her hormones. She cries all the time. One morning she counted on one hand, how many times she's already cried five times. Once in the morning, when she got out of bed and looked at herself in the mirror. Then when Bobby kissed her and told her she's beautiful (bless him). Another time when Lydia yelled at Grace for being slow. The other times came when she dropped her fork on the floor. It's a fork. Why is she crying over a fork? And finally, when she sat down to relax. Tears, tears, tears.

After having a phone conversation with Dr. Li, they decided to up her dosage of PPD medicine. Her doctor phoned it into the pharmacy. Mary called Bobby to pick it up for her. Which he did. When he got home, he found her shaking uncontrollably. He had to lay on top of her to get her body temp to normal. Dr. Li admitted her to the hospital because of this. 

When the doctor checked her blood pressure, she found it sky-high. Her legs were so swollen, Dr. Li was sure blood clots were happening. During this time, Mary thought her head and legs were going to explode. The scary reality is she almost died. 

And Bobby, poor Bobby, was helpless. There was nothing for him to do, but watch his wife succumb to his HELLP syndrome. The doctor told them it's a variant of preeclampsia, which she had been worried about with Mary's slightly raised blood pressure, the last few months of pregnancy. After two days in the hospital, her legs and feet returned to normal. Mary had to be put on blood pressure medication, from then on. A small trade-off for being alive.

While she was in the hospital, the girls stayed with their grandparents. They were worried about their mother, but most especially Grace. "Mommy is sick. I need Mommy to be OK Daddy," she told him. Her little chin trembled and she rubbed the heart on her charm bracelet. 

She'll always be their baby, no matter what (even Lydia who's acting too big for her britches). "I need Mommy to be OK to Baby." He picked her up and hugged her. His sweet baby. 

The twins stayed with him. At the hospital, Mary would pump and he would bottle feed them. She begged him to feed them tandem style. He complied with her request. How she does this, he'll never know. Mother's finding strength they didn't know they have every single day. They're like Wonder Woman.

On the day his wife was released, four days later, Bobby cried. Knowing it's a stupid question, he asked "How do you feel?" 

"I feel better actually. The pain in my feet and head are gone. My emotions don't feel so mixed up, thanks to the higher dose of PPD medicine. I still feel achy of course, but that's normal Dr. Li says." She's just ready to see her babies, all four of them. That's so odd to think. She has four kids, and two are twins. Life!

Before they left the hospital room, Bobby held her in his embrace. He's missed just hugging her. While he was hugging her, she changed her mind. She has five babies. He's her baby too, her big, strong, huggable, lovable, Papa bear. All of their stress melted away inside each other's loving embrace.