The Look Of Hope

Chapter 14: Fear Doesn't Own Me

In the days following the accident, Mary checked out of the hospital and checked in to Dr. Bobby's care. She was given a sling for her arm, crutches for her feet, and a toe boot for her broken toes. The bruised ribs were her husband's specialty since they were a frequent karate injury. He used her treatment, from long ago, on her. "Now it's my turn to rub you with liniment oil." 

Except when he rubbed her it was much more "naughty". Now every time she sees the bottle, or needs to use it, all she'll think of is his sensual rubdown. Sometimes, it's things like this that make her wonder. His overwhelming love and care make her wish she had dated him earlier than Senior year.

 A year into their marriage she had told him so. It was after one of their passionate love sessions. They were laying on the bed, and her head was on his chest. "Bobby,  do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we had dated sooner than Senior year?" His response to her was, "Yes. But I don't question it. We were supposed to fall in love Senior year. If it had been sooner, I don't think we would've been ready for each other. I still had a lot of growing to do. I partied and drank a lot. If we had dated sooner, I probably wouldn't have had as much self-control with you, when it came to extracurricular activities." 

She thought he had stopped talking and was about to say something when she heard "In fact, I'm surprised I had as much self-control as I did. After we had been dating for a while, I wanted you in the worst way. But I loved you too much and I wanted us to work out. I was in it for the long haul, and this." He paused to hold up her ring finger. "This is what I wanted more than sex. I can't explain it, I just knew you were the one for me. And I hoped you knew it too. We have to trust the timing of our lives."

When she thinks back to that particular conversation, her heart swells with overflowing love. That's what's carried her through this horrible ordeal. She looks at Bobby and hopes their daughter falls in love with someone like him. As much as her husband has many incredible qualities, he does have his faults. One, in particular, is vexing her with his worrisome care. 

He took a week off of school, which his counseling department allowed without penalizing his "sick" days. After the week, she is SO ready to kick him out and back to interning. Hovering, he's always hovering. "Mary did you take your medicine?" he asks. "Yes, Babe," she says. Then he hands it to her, cause he thinks she didn't. "Mary prop your leg up," he tells her. "OK, Babe,"  she says. Then he props it up himself. "Mary do you need help getting dressed?" he questions. "No, Babe," she says. Then he helps her anyway. It's worse than when she was pregnant.

The fear is great in him. If it weren't concerning to her, it would be funny. He's having a harder time processing the accident than she is. It's super strange. The PPD almost crushed her. The accident should have crushed her, yet it didn't. By all accounts, she should be mental. She should be depressed. She should be traumatized. She should be a lot of things, but she isn't. 

Tough times, make tough people. We all fall, but we get back up. We all break, but we also heal. The thing about this is the gentle whisper of her soul. She can't explain it, but she's mentally fine and emotionally OK. She knew once the sound of the crash echoed in her ears, and mind, everything would change. She was either going to live or die. She prayed to live and her request was granted. 

Joe came and encouraged her. To be encouraged one must first have the courage themselves. Maybe Joe was sent to bring her courage out, to speak life and hope into her broken spirit. Whatever the reason he showed up, is not for her to question. It's not for her to overthink and reason why. No! He came at the right time, just like Bobby came into her life at the right time.