No Control-n.h

Chapter 38

JADES POV

I scramble through my drawers and closet to put in everything I own into my suitcase.

Once I finish, I run my hands through my damp hair from my morning shower and shove my suitcase under the bed.

I've decided to leave the boys' tour and go back to Uni, far away from Niall.

He's of course attempted to apologise and speak to me but I don't even want to look at him.

"Hey," Lucy mutters, sitting down next to me on the bed.

"Hi," I sigh, sinking into the duvet.

"Do you have to leave?" She asks.

"Yeah," I sigh, "Niall's hurt me so much I just don't have the guts to be with him every day. I'm sorry, I really am but its for the best," I insist.

"Niall is sorry. He shouldn't stop you from seeing every one of us. I'll want these two's auntie Jade around when they arrive," Lucy sighs, rubbing her stomach.

"I'll never just leave you all. I'll text you every day and promise to come and visit them whenever you're within driving distance," I promise, going into the bathroom to get a wash and brush my teeth.

"What time are you leaving?" Louis asks from the doorway as I dry my mouth.

"Around 4:30," I reply, squeezing past him.

"I hate to see you go," he says after me.

"So do I," I mumble, holding onto him as he pulls me in for a hug.

"I'll miss you all," I whisper, the thought of Niall instantly popping into my head before I brush it away.

"Please keep in touch Jade," Louis says, still holding onto me.

"I would never not keep in touch Lou."

"And don't worry about the whole Harry thing, it's all in the past," he assures me and I nod awkwardly. I didn't think anyone knew but Lucy.

I sigh into Louis' shoulder, already feeling my eyes begin to water so I let go, going back to my bed and shutting the curtain.

Getting my guitar out of it's case, I pull out my music book and turn to the first page, reading the title, I die a little inside.

'How Long Will I Love You?'

Deciding, seen as I'm alone, I gently strum the chords to myself, a small tear rolling down my cheek as I re-live the memory of me and Niall.

I put it back in the case, out of my sight and put it behind my suitcase, wiping my eyes and getting off the bed.

As I open the door, he's there. His blue eyes the darkest shade i've ever seen them, bloodshot and emotionless.

I notice his eyes red and puffy, tears wetting his cheeks as he stares at my like I'm not there.

"Please," he whispers, pushing his hair out of his eyes and putting his hands to his face, sniffling as he begins to cry even more.

"Why did you do it?" I ask.

"I wasn't thinking. I was told something that night and I did it out of anger I'm sorry," he says making me even more confused.

"Told what Niall? What could have possibly made you go and fucking kiss another girl?" I shout.

"And what could have possibly made you go and fuck my best friend? You never even thought to tell me?" He cries.

I'm shocked, how does he know that?
I nearly don't say anything but then I realise that it doesn't matter anymore.

"Why is that important now? He's having children with Lucy, Niall. We were actually getting somewhere and you go and fuck it up."

"And were you not the one who fucked Harry's and my brain up when you played us both?" He shouts.

"I never played either of you. Me and Harry just happened and we've got over it, this is about you kissing someone else when you supposedly love me. Do you know how fucked up that is?" I scream.

I can't stop myself from crying and push past him running into Liam.

"Liam please take me to the airport right now. I can't deal with this or saying goodbye to anyone," I whimper, rubbing away my tears.

I see the glisten of sadness in his eyes but he nods his head and goes to get my things as I wait outside.

The feeling of guilt washes over me, I haven't said goodbye to anyone and that rips me apart inside.

Liam comes outside, my bags in his arms and he leads me to the car as I turn to look at the tour bus one more time, noticing that blonde hair through the bedroom blinds and his blue eyes, I turn and jump into the back of the car without hesitation.

I miss him.

Leaving my thoughts and feelings of Niall in the back of my head, I'm already on my way to University, where hopefully i'll forget about him.