No Control-n.h

Chapter 40

JADES POV

I rub my eyes at the sound of my alarm clock beeping.

Looking at my surroundings I see hundreds of used tissues all over my bed, I cried myself to sleep when I got back. Every part of my body is aching and my eyes are sore and puffy.

I reach out for my glasses and phone, checking my notifications.

From Ni: Jade. I hate myself, I honestly, truly, hate myself for what I did to you and I can never forgive myself for doing that to you.

I love you

Please answer me

From Liam: Hope you had a safe flight, we miss you.

From Cara: Jade, you never said goodbye, just know that we wish you were here

I desperately want you to come back but I understand what you think is good for you right now and respect that.

Lucy (3 missed calls)
Jade you should have told me about you and Harry a long time ago, he should have said something too but it won't come
between us. It would never

Just come home

From Hazza: We miss you so much. Come home.

pretty please with a cherry on top

Please don't forget me for all dem fratboys. I LOVE YOUUU.

Soph(5 missed calls)

From Soph:
Please pick up your phone Jade.

From Lou: I was drunk and It was me who told Niall, I'm so sorry. I couldn't tell you earlier, the guilt is eating away at me.

From Vanessa: Jade, i'm crying a waterfall. Please come back, I can't handle you not being here. PLEASE JADE PLEASE I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU.

Zayn(2 missed calls)

Locking my phone and throwing to the bottom of my bed, I bury my head in the pillow and scream in frustration.

I push myself out of bed and get out some black leggings and a plain black tank top, pull my hair back and don't bother with any make up just do the daily morning wash routine.

I grab my phone, creating a group text.

I'm so so sorry that I didn't say goodbye, I love you all too fucking much to do it. I feel like just burying myself 6ft under. I'm sorry. X

Huffing as I hold back my tears, I grab my phone, books and keys before locking the dorm door and heading to music class.

"Wow, Miss Thirlwall has finally returned," the teacher remarks.

"Why have you skipped so many classes?" She questions sarcastically.

"I did them all online. Why are you sticking your big nose in my business?" I reply, rolling my eyes as I pull out some sheets and everyone stares at me.

I hear everyone whispering around me and I certainly know why; Niall. All I can hear is his name and the word girlfriend being thrown around everywhere.

"If you have anything to say fucking ask me them yourself instead of whispering around me alright?" I say and watch as my teacher's mouth hangs open.

"Right, please leave the class Miss Thirlwall. I will not be spoken to like that in my own classroom nor will I tolerate that type of language," She yells, opening the door in anger.

"You can spend a whole week in that room across the hall doing nothing but written work," she spits as I walk out of the door.

"I couldn't give any less of a shit," I laugh, taking myself back to the elevator.

"Miss Thirlwall, back here now," she orders, coming out of the classroom.

I roll my eyes, flipping her off as the elevator doors open and I hop in, pressing floor 1.

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Cradling the ice cream tub, I stab at the gooey ice cream angrily as I think of my stupid teacher, I feel tears of pure frustration roll down my cheeks.

I'm getting quite sick of crying but I can't help it.
He doesn't even deserve to be entering my thoughts but he's all I can think about.

Turning my attention back to the television, the Friends theme tune rings through my ears and I look at the spot next to me where I can faintly hear his laugh, picture his smile , hear the words he spoke of everything I need to know about him and all the things I didn't know already.

Niall, Niall, just Niall.

I can't stop myself from thinking about him constantly.

Switching over the programme, MTV is on and I see a picture of me and Liam hugging at the airport in corner.

"One Direction's Liam Payne was photographed cradling a heart broken Jade Thirlwall at an American Airport two days ago. But Jade and Liam were the only ones there? Why is she leaving? And the question we're all dying to know; are her and Niall still an item or is there trouble in paradise?"

I get up from the sofa, furiously turning off the television and throwing the remote at the wall breaking down into tears like I've been doing for the past 24 hours of my life.

Getting up, I run to the bathroom turning on the shower and stripping off before climbing in and burning my body with the hotness of the water.

It relaxes me, it takes most of the ache away. I loosen up my muscles and grab a shaver to shave my legs and end up cutting myself on the first glide. Fucking typical, something as little as this just sends me over the edge and I throw the razor against the bathroom wall, the blades falling out onto the floor.

I get out of the shower, throw on some pyjamas and grabbing my phone speedily typing away at the numbers on my screen to hear it dialling.

He picks up sounding tired and upset.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Jade," he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Zayn please help me," I cry into my knees.

"Jade whats happened?" he asks, sounding worried.

"I need him. Zayn I need him and I can't stop myself. I don't know what to do. Every second of the day I think about him and I just want to forget. I-I don't know. I c-can't handle it anym-more," I choke, crying harder as the tears sting my eyes like I'm continuously stabbing them with a pin.

"Jade don't do anything stupid please. You'll be ok. You need to forget about Niall, for your own good. Please understand," he says through the phone as I put him on speaker grabbing some tissues.

"Zayn it hurts like hell and I just need to hear his voice," I mutter, sniffling.

"Jade get some sleep it's like 1:00am there and i'll talk to you later when you've calmed down," he whispers, relaxing me.

"Ok Zayn. Thank you," I reply, wiping under my black stained eyes.

"You're welcome love," he says and I click the end call button and sink into the sheets, trying to let myself drift off.