No Control-n.h

Chapter 95- "he won't leave you"

CARAS POV

I pull Darcy round and to the side of my hip, Lucy and Harry have gone out to the shopping center not too far from where we're parked so I offer to watch Darcy.

"Hey," I smile as I walk into the living room to see Zayn laying on the sofa.

"Where is everyone?" I ask.

"Jade and Niall are asleep, Selena and Liam are at the cafe down the road, Vanessa and Louis have disappeared I don't know where to."

"So we basically have the bus to ourselves," I smirk.

"Unless you're counting Darcy, Jade, Niall and the twins then I guess you could say that," he replies bluntly.

"I'm gonna go lay Darcy in her cot," I tell him, moving and taking Darcy to her bed in Harry and Lucy's room.

I walk back in and sit next to him on the sofa, I would usually crawl into his lap and snuggle into him but he's being kind of distant lately so maybe he won't like that.

Looking down at my hand I move the ring around my finger in circles, Zayn hasn't says a word throughout the programme he's watching which makes me feel like I'm watching it all alone.

"Zayn is there something wrong?" I ask, he doesn't reply he just keeps his eyes to the television screen.

"If there is please can we just talk about it. I feel like you're shutting me out Zayn and I don't like it."

"There is nothing wrong with me Cara. I'm fine," he shrugs.

"I know when you're lying. We never lie to each other," I say.

"Oh yeah, well how about when you kissed Niall at the hospital? You never told me about that," he snaps.

"Is that what this is about?" I mumble.

"Zayn that was a long time ago, why rake it up now? We're getting married soon, we'll start a family-"

"No. We can't just start a family Cara. That will wreck everything, don't you realise?" he cries.

"I thought that was what you wanted? When you asked me to marry you I thought you were ready to commit to me. I thought we were serious, ready to start our whole lives together. Isn't that what you want?"

"I asked you to marry me because I wanted to make us official and without the ring it didn't seem as serious as I wanted it to be. We can still plan out our future but right now I need to focus on my career, my dream," he explains.

"And what about my dreams? My dream's to have a family and a husband and settle down in a nice little house where the children can play in our garden as we watch over them like little over-protective parents. They are my dreams but I can't stop mine to live your's," I tell him.

"You just have to walk through my dream with me. I will happily do that for you but when the time is right which isn't right now," he mutters.

"Zayn I thought you wanted us to be together as a proper family not a couple who live on a tiny tour bus on the road 24/7. I thought you would want to look out of the window and see a friendly street with our neighbors waving at us from their gardens and our kids wanting to go outside and play. Not this! This isn't want I want for my future Zayn. I respected your dream and we've lived it," I cry, feeling as though the tears are going to drip from my eyes any second.

"We aren't ready to have kids yet Cara," he protests.

"No. You're not ready to have kids yet Zayn. But I am and I want that as my future. Not this," I shout.

I feel the tears fall down my cheeks and I rub them away viciously.

I hear a cough and whip myself around to see Jade and Niall standing in the doorway with awkward expressions on their faces.

"Cara can we not do this here please," he mutters.

"Forget it. I don't want to be anywhere fucking near you right now," I cry, rushing off and out the door into the pouring rain.

ZAYNS POV

Jade runs after her after Niall gave her his hoodie and I sink into the sofa placing my head into my hands.

"Mate what's just happened?" Niall asks.

CARAS POV

I sit with my back against the bus sobbing my eyes out. It feels good to cry it off but it doesn't lessen my anger or pain.

"Cara what just happened?" Jade asks, sitting down next to me and throwing an arm over my shoulder.

"Zayn doesn't want me anymore," I sniff.

"Did he say that?"

"He didn't have to," I shrug.

"Cara I know he still loves you," Jade assures.

"He's not even kissed me since last week, normally we don't let a day go by without showing each other that we love each other," I say, rubbing the tears away.

"I've noticed he's been distant lately," she smiles sympathetically.

"Jade what will I do without him?" I whisper, feeling even more tears stream down my cheeks as she pulls me into a hug.

"He won't leave you," she soothes.

"But I might have to leave him."