Mature part is in itallic but it's not the kind of mature part that people expect. It is in specific context. And its about love and caring more than anything else. So, I hope my writing reflects that. I wanted to treat it with sensitivity and respect. And I hope when you read you get it.......
Aastha- Chalo mein chalti hoon. Khana kitchen mein rakh rhi hoon. Garam kar dungi jab tum ready ho jaoge.
Shaurya- Ji.....
Shaurya shuts the door.....
He helps her with her shirt unbuttoning it. She raises her hands and he helps her remove her slip on.
And same goes for her pajamas. He ties her hair in small bun. Her holds her close to him. She leans forward onto him but just barely. He runs his fingers on her back. She is teary eyed and the water conceals her tear tracks but Shaurya knows that she is tired of all the pain, of having to stay in bed all the time because she was too tired to do much.
Shaurya- I have got you. It's ok. It's ok. I know you are in pain even if you do your best to not say it. But you are in pain.
He kisses her hair.
Anokhi- I am. I am. I.... Want this to stop. I don't remember what life was before all this pain. I can't remember.
She sobs against him.
Shaurya- Anokhi. I can't lie. But no matter what I am there Anokhi. I am there. For you always. To cry with. To lean on.
Anokhi- Hmmm.
Anokhi shuts her eyes and let's the water cool her head. No words are exchanged and the shower continues in its rhythm. After a few minutes....
Shaurya- Let me get the soap.
Anokhi- Soap....
Shaurya- I love the white foam on your skin. You look magical.
Anokhi- OK.
She didn't like soap because it meant five minutes longer but it also meant she won't smell of puke anymore.
She turns such that her back is against his chest. He applies the soap on the back of her neck and moves to her shoulder blades.
Anokhi- Hmmm ho gya? Bhook lag rhi hai.
Shaurya realizes he was in a moment. A moment that he lost the day she was diagnosed with cancer. It was bittersweet. He had never been as near to her as this ever, in her armpits applying soap. She had never been this vulnerable ever, in other words never been so open about pain or so ok with taking help. It hurt him to see her like this, so vulnerable but it made him happy that she had opened up to him more than ever. There were so many moments when both became one, whether it was when he helped her wash her hair or when he chatted with her for hours or when he kissed her iv drip line or when she would ruffle his hair in spite of being so tired or when she would kiss him so long on the cheek not wanting to let go because she feared she would be tired to kiss him again. This was one such moment. But then just when the moment was going to shift to something else Anokhi couldn't feel the shift. She was so tired that he knew she wanted to go to bed. It was complex.
Anokhi- Shaurya!
Anokhi turned and in one look she knew she had broken the moment and the spell of it for him.
Anokhi- I can't get any closer. I can't. I would probably collapse if I would even try. But I can stay here. I am doing very bad at diffusing the sexual tension?
Shaurya- No. No. Anokhi I would not even think. It was just I like to look at your back. Not that way. Not the sexual way. But just. You know? Samjh rhi ho?
Anokhi- Hmm. Just be close. I like you close....
Shaurya- I am close. Always.
Anokhi- Always....
Shaurya- Now let's get you on the bed. You need to rest. Hmmm.
He gently uses towel on her hair so that no hair would come off and keeping her engaged in rubbish talk so that even if there would be hair on the towel she would miss it.
Back to the present:-
Anokhi- I love you Shaurya. I love you so, so much. You have always made me feel so loved, so wanted. Even when I was too exhausted. On the days I just told you shut up because I just wanted to be in silence. You would get it. That's the best part about you always get me. Dekho naa aaj bhi you understand my awkwardness about my breasts.
Shaurya- You get me too. You always get me. Its just that your illness didn't let you act upon it. Never mind I will make sure you make up for all of that soon.
Anokhi- Can I start making up now?
Shaurya- Sure?
Anokhi- Hmmmm. I think I feel better.
Shaurya- Cool.
Anokhi starts to kiss him passionately and she does keep her promise to make up very well.
So this is a chapter which is I think my most favorite chapter ever that I wrote...... I really loved creating that scene I think you know the scene, the bathroom one which is so complicated in its emotional state. I hope I was able to keep it sensitive. I know this short story divided people. There are people who really loved it and those that weren't but to me it's been a learning curve...... Please do comment what you felt about it.
