Shelby heart- Completed

Alfie- its been a year

Kids:
Tyler 5
Liliana 1

The grave was gorgeous, y/n made sure of that. Visiting every Sunday to replace the flowers and thoroughly clean the tomb stone. She could almost here his voice as she wiped down the mud and dirt

"The house is spotless, just relax for a while love" he always told her that she worked to hard to make their house a home, but she didn't want to live her adult life the same way her mother did. In dirt and grime, damp that killed y/ns baby brother, cold that took her sister, the same 4 walls which drove her father loopy. She didn't want to live like that

When she had finished cleaning the stone, she sat down on the grass, leant against his name and began to speak

"It's been a year Alfie. So much has happened and it breaks my heart that you aren't there to see it. Or maybe you've seen it all, I don't know. Liliana took her firsts steps, you would've been so proud of our baby. Tyler got the puppy he'd always wanted for his 5th birthday, he named it olly which has annoyed the man to no extent. Our boy has your sense of humour that's for sure. Hes been a big help with liliana, helping me dress and bathe her. I sometimes feel guilty because hes just a child himself, but hes too sweet to sit back and let me do it alone. We moved out of london, it had too many painful memories. Evertime i walked down a street, i would remember a time when we would walk there together, every shop reminded me of the time we would go there as a couple. Now we're staying in Yorkshire, a house by the sea, the kids love it there but I think Tyler misses his friends though. He doesn't complain, I sometimes wish he would, then I'd know what was going on inside his head rather than him bottling it up for my sake. Can you see us? Our family? I miss you alfie"

"It's been 5 years Alfie. Tyler started middle school, he's settled in quickly but his behaviour isn't liked by the teachers. He's started talking back to everyone, I suppose it's him growing up. Lord help me in his teenager years. Liliana has started asking about you. I've tried to explain to her why you aren't here, but she doesn't understand. I've told her about heaven, and all she does is ask when you are coming to visit. I'm struggling without you. But I've met someone. I remember that you used to work with him, Arthur. We've only been on a couple of dates, but I don't think its going anywhere. It still feels like I'm cheating on you and I find it impossible to enjoy myself when I know that I can't love anyone unless they are exactly like you. I try not to cry Alfie, but it still hurts. I lay awake at night thinking of that day, when god took you from us. I keep thinking it's all a joke, that you'll reappear with amnesia or something, but I know its a fantasy. Oh god, please help me, I'm failing as a mother and I can't do this without you. Tyler blamed me the other day for your death. It was a quick comment, and I've tried to ignore it but he's right, I should've acted faster, fought harder for you to stay home that day. I miss you Alfie, so much"

"It's been 10 years Alfie, liliana is the sweetest little girl I know. It scares me sometimes when she tries to see the good in everybody, but she's never experienced anything that would make her untrusting. She had a father daughter dance at school, I wore your old clothes, drew on a mustache and danced with her. It cheered her up and she loved it. I think she's upset that she doesn't remember you, but I've been showing her pictures and telling her stories. Tyler is a different story. He is hanging around with the wrong people, some lads who are part of a little gang. The kind of gang you would've destroyed in seconds. He doesn't go to school but comes home drunk every single night. Most the time he's covered in bruises from fighting. All I can do is sit and worry that one day, this little gang of his will piss off one of the bigger bosses. Tommy is protecting us just like you told him to. He's trying to help tyler, but the kid is pushing everyone away and i feel helpless. I miss you alfie"

"It's been 15 years Alfie. Liliana had her heart broken, she cried for a week and I can only imagine what you would've done to the boy. The peaky blinders gave him a good beating, whilst I comforted our girl. She seems to be happier now, realised that he isn't worth the tears. She's not doing great in school, but she tries so hard, she just can't understand it. I don't care about her grades, she works hard and is kind, that's all it takes for her to have a happy life. Tyler has come back to us. One of his friends was killed in a street fight and he realised how serious things were getting. He doesn't drink and he's found a girl. Her name is Peggy, she so lovely and I've never seen him happier. I went with him to buy an engagement ring last week, might be getting another daughter. I think he worries about me, visits all the time and does the shopping for me. He's constantly asking if I need money but I reassure him me and liliana are doing just fine. He's working for Tommy, but he promises it's just the legal work. I'm not sure if I believe him or not but I trust Tommy to look after our boy. I miss you alfie"

"It's been 20 years daddy. Did mummy find you? She tried to hang on for me and Tyler but I told her to let go, she was in pain and sick, it wasn't fair to let her suffer like that. I don't remember you, but I've heard stories and I have all the photos. I wish we had longer together but I promise, I still love you like you've been with me my whole life. I've been told you were increditoy protective, so don't freak out, I'm getting married next week. Charlie shelby, his a lovely man daddy. He asked for Tyler's permission aswell. I wish you were there to walk me down the aisle, but Tyler is there instead. He's got a daughter now, she's just a couple months old. Her name is Claire, I've made it my mission to become the favourite aunt over Peggy's sisters. Tyler misses you too, he tells Claire stories of you and mum even though she can't understand yet, I keep asking if he wants to come and visit your grave, but I think it's too hard for him. He still remembers your voice and he can't bare to see where you're resting, breaks his heart. He's stopped working for the blinders now Claire is here, and he's working to become a lawyer. You'd be proud of him, I'm certainly proud. I hope you're proud of me, because all I want is for you and mummy to be proud. I miss you daddy, take care of mummy for me, please"