I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 9

As Derek drank himself into a stupor, his cell and home phones rang every few minutes. He knew it was Jen. He knew she was worried about him. He also knew that he couldn't do anything to ease her concerns. He knew he'd fall apart if he talked to her. He was in a very dark place, and he wasn't going to be able to lean on her to help him through it. Before he lost all dexterity, he pulled out his phone and sent her a text message.

"Made it home. Drunk but not suicidal. Go to bed. Don't worry. This isn't your fault."

Jen finally was able to breathe when she got his message. She'd been envisioning all sorts of horrible things happening to him. She furiously typed a response.

"Are you sure you're OK?"

Derek sighed. He was far from OK, but he knew that he had to reassure her.

"I'll be fine."

Jen knew she had to let him deal with this on his own. But she wanted to be there for him if he needed her.

"I'm here for you. Always."

"Thanks. You, too. Bye."

Derek turned off the phone and took his bottle of scotch with him into his room. Kicking off his shoes and stripping off everything but boxers, he climbed into bed and flipped on the television. Mindless staring at that box might help him unwind. Maybe.

As he flipped channels knowing that nothing would interest him, he stopped momentarily on Animal Planet. They were showing a special about animals in the South American rainforest. He sat mesmerized for a while by the footage of the Amazon, a land he'd once fallen in love with. As drunk as he was, he was unable to shut off the memories that came flooding back.

"Are you serious," Mark asked him.

"Yeah. I'm going," Derek replied.

"But I thought you were the backpack-across-Europe type," Mark added.

"Nope. This is better than wandering aimlessly through Europe. This will be helping people and making a difference. This is perfect for anyone headed to medical school. It will make it all more.......real."

"But there won't be many hot women around. This place sounds remote."

"I have the only woman I want already. You should go to Europe and sleep your way across the continent. I'm looking for time to commune with nature and help sick people. We're different. We don't have to do this together, Mark."

"But we do everything together. Europe would be no fun with only half of the dynamic duo."

"A year is a long time, Mark. I think you'll hate living in remote villages and helping teach parents about proper nutrition and vaccinating the kids. You can't go just for me. I know I'll love going, but my loving it won't do you any good if you hate it. And the last thing I want to do is listen to you whine for a year."

"I need to go with you. This is our last chance to be young and irresponsible before we go to med school and grow up. I don't want to meet back up with a grown-up Derek in a year. We're brothers. Where you go, I go."

"But we'd be joining the Peace Corps, Mark. We'd have to be responsible. They'd be counting on us."

"We get time off, right? We can haul into the nearest city and party with the ladies."

"Mark, you really need to think about this. You can come down and visit me. Or you could take another trip. There will be plenty of people heading to Europe. I think that kind of trip would be better for you."