I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 52

Derek just sat there grinning. A few minutes later, he picked up his cell phone and hit speed dial.

"Hey," he said enthusiastically.

"Hey," Jen said, not sure what to make of the happiness in his voice, "how are you?"

"Good," he said smiling, "I'm really good."

"You sound happy, Derek."

"I'm delirious," he said, beaming.

"Are you on drugs?" Jen asked.

"No."

"A bottle of Scotch?"

"No."

"High from surgery?"

"No."

"You went fishing."

"No."

"What's made you so happy? You are NEVER happy like this."

"Guess."

"Oh, I forgot. You just saw Meredith," Jen said, concern evident in her tone, "Derek, this isn't healthy."

"It's perfect."

"You are too invested in a relationship that won't work."

"No, I just got great news!" he disagreed.

"She's leaving him?"

"No."

"You're planning a secret affair? Don't do that, Derek."

"No."

"What? What great news could she have possibly given you?"

"I'm a father."

"What???!!!"

"He's mine, Jen. Trent is our son. Meredith's oldest son is my child."

"Oh, my God!"

"I got to meet him. He's amazing......"

"Oh, Derek....."

"Yeah. It's great, huh?"

"I'm so happy for you."

"Me, too."

"Wow. It's never a dull moment with you, is it? Always something big and dramatic," Jen quipped.

Derek chuckled as his call waiting beeped. "Gotta go. Mer's calling. I might get to see him again tomorrow."

"OK," Jen was smiling as Derek clicked off the line. He is a father. He has his own family. He sounds so happy. She knew better than most that if anyone deserved to have happy news like this it was Derek.

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"Hey," Derek said as he picked up Meredith's call.

"Hey," Meredith said, her heart skipping a beat at the pure happiness that she heard in Derek's voice. "Trent would love to see you tomorrow."

"That's great!" Derek said happily. "I can pick him up at your hotel. How about 9?"

"OK."

"Anything I need to know? Topics I need to steer away from?"

"No."

"What are kids his age like?"

"It's hard to explain. You'll figure it out. Just be yourself."

"I'm nervous," Derek said honestly.

"Don't be. You have a lot in common. And he's a lot like me, too. It'll be fine."

"OK," Derek said, trying to believe her. "Mer?"

"Yeah."

"You have no idea how much this means to me," he said, emotion dripping from his words.

"I'm so glad," she said, her own quavering voice revealing how happy this turn of events had made her as well.

"See you tomorrow. Tell Trent that I can't wait."

"I will. Derek?" Meredith asked, trying to catch him before he hung up.

"Yeah?"

"Get some sleep, OK?" She could tell that he was wired and happy, and she knew that sleep was the last thing on his mind.

"I'll try," he said, laughing that she still knew him too well.


************


The next morning, Meredith opened the door to her hotel room and let Derek in. There was a semi-awkward silence. He looked at her longingly for a moment. But when Trent entered the room from the bathroom, Derek's wistful expression changed to one of pure joy and happiness.

"Hey," Derek said. His son echoed his response quietly.

"So, you're brave enough to spend the day with me, huh?" Derek said, trying to keep things light.

"I guess so," Trent said smiling.

"You boys behave," Meredith said, her mom side taking over. She ushered them out the door, kissing Trent's cheek and nodding to Derek. They said quick goodbyes and Meredith watched them walk away, noticing similarities in their gaits to match the other remarkable resemblances.

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"So," Derek began after they were safely buckled into his car. "You have two choices. See the sights of Seattle or hang out."

"Hanging out's OK," Trent said.

"Good," Derek replied, "Let's catch the ferry."

"Fairy?" Trent asked. "I'm not a little kid, you know."

Derek chuckled, "Ferryboat. I.....I have a thing for ferryboats," he said with a look of nostalgia on his face.

"I've never ridden one," Trent said, noticing the faraway expression on his father's face.

"Well, you'll get hooked. I thought I should warn you....."

"You sound just like Mom. It's weird. She would say the same thing—just like that."

Derek smiled at that observation and drove on board the ferry. They parked and walked up to the top deck for the ride. They stood there in silence, taking in the view and losing themselves in their own thoughts. They were just hanging out.

"So, what do you think?" Derek finally asked him.

"It's wicked cool," Trent said smiling.

"See. I told you.....," Derek said grinning.

"Mom would say that, too," Trent said, grinning back at him with an identical grin.

"Your mom is wonderful. She really loves you, you know," Derek couldn't help saying.

"I know. She's pretty great. Overprotective, but it's just her thing."

Derek nodded and they both stood leaning against the railing, the wind rippling through their nearly identical curly locks as they thought about Meredith.

"Did.....," Trent began, "Did you ever ride a ferryboat with her?"

"Yeah.........a long time ago," Derek replied softly, trying to hide the sadness he felt remembering.

There was a brief silence befor Trent continued.

"So. It must have been horrible..........what happened to you," Trent added.

"Yeah. Did your mom tell you about it?" Derek asked.

"Some. She left some stuff out, though."

"Overprotective, huh?" Derek said, grinning down at his son.

"Yeah."

"Well, I can tell you my version sometime."

"OK."

Derek sighed as he was hit with another memory. "Do you have a best friend, Trent?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Who's the troublemaker?"

"He is," Trent said grinning.

"So you keep him in line?" Derek asked.

"Yeah."

"Like father, like son," Derek said as he reached out one hand to rumple his son's hair, grinning at him.


********


After they left, Meredith had closed the door to her hotel room and flopped on the bed. Staring at the ceiling as if she'd be able to find a pattern or symbol up there, she found herself in a state of complete self-loathing. Frustrated and angry, she got up and finished getting ready. Her foul temper did not dissipate. Sighing audibly and grabbing her purse, she left he room and made her way out to run the errands she had planned for the day. After stopping by the nursing home and wrapping up final payments and thanks to the staff, she was in an even worse mood. Unaccustomed to much free time in her life, the thought of going back to her hotel room for more silent staring at the ceiling drove her crazy. So she got back in her car and drove mindlessly around the city.

Seattle was unfamiliar. She wasn't in a mood to go sightseeing. So she drove until she came to the landing for the ferryboats. Parking her car, she walked down to a grassy area near the water and sat down on a bench to think. Hoping to NOT think.

She didn't want to face the unhappy reality that she was lonely. And jealous. She was truly happy for both Derek and Trent. They deserved to get to know one another. She had prayed that they'd hit it off, and it appeared that everything was going even better than she could have expected. That should have made her truly happy. Part of her was very happy for them, but the other part of her was feeling left out. She sat there kicking herself. What kind of mother is stupid and selfish enough to feel jealous of her son? And Derek was happy. Derek was truly happy for the first time in years. And she'd told herself all along that his happiness was all she ever wanted. But here she sat, feeling jealous that she hadn't been the one to make him happy. She was feeling sad that she couldn't be part of what Derek and Trent were sharing. And she hated herself for having these feelings. She was happy that they were each gaining a special relationship they both deserved. She just hated herself for wishing that she could be more than just a casual observer.

So while Derek and Trent spent the day getting to know each other and feeling really glad about their new relationship. Meredith spent her day of freedom staring into space and hating herself. Their days could not have been more different.