I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 19

One Friday afternoon at the end of his shift, Derek checked his voicemail messages. He'd been in surgery all afternoon, and he hadn't had a chance to check for missed calls. Relieved that Jen wasn't harassing him that day, Derek listened to his messages. The last message was cryptic, and he squinted as he dialed the number. When someone answered, he told them who he was and requested to speak to the party mentioned in his message. More than a little unnerved by the phone call, he started pacing in the locker room. "Yes, Dr. Holden, I'm returning your call." As he stood there listening to the message that was relayed, the color drained from his face, and he slid down the locker he had stopped in front of and sat staring silent at his feet.



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An hour or so later, Derek wheeled into the parking lot of the familiar building and jumped out of his car. Running inside, he murmured something to the receptionist without slowing his pace. He burst into the familiar room at the end of the hallway and was stunned to find it empty. All of the personal items in the room had been placed into a cardboard box. He walked slowly over and eyed the contents carefully. Picking up one item gently, he clutched it to his chest and began to sob.


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That night, Jen was humming a happy tune as she applied the last touches to her makeup. She's been looking forward to this date all week, and she felt a tingle of anticipation run up her spine as she noticed that time for his arrival was almost upon her. Finished with her task, Jen stepped back from the mirror to observe the results of her work. She looked great. The dress fit her perfectly and flattered her figure. The shoes had been a last-minute find, but they simply made the outfit. The little handbag and the jewelry she had rummaged out of her closet tied the whole look together. Her hair and makeup were flawless.

She knew that he'd be happy to find her wearing jeans and a sweater, but she wanted to "wow" him. He was worth the extra effort. She smiled as she thought about other nights like this they'd spent together.

The doorbell rang, and Jen nearly floated to the door to answer it. Waiting a minute or two so that he wouldn't realize that she had rushed to meet him, she swung open the door to her apartment and flashed her sexiest smile.

"Oh, God. You have a date. I'll go...," Derek said turning to leave.

"Derek, what happened?" Jen asked as she took in his disheveled appearance and slumped shoulders. "Come on in......."

"No. Go out. I'll come back tomorrow," he said softly.

"You're upset. I haven't seen you in months. Tell me what's wrong."

"But you have a date. I can't."

Jen grabbed his elbow and pulled him into her apartment. Watching him carefully as she led him to the sofa, she encouraged him to sit, "Sit down, I'll get you a drink."

Jen returned a few minutes later with a glass of scotch. She sat down beside him and took in the view of the miserable man before her. After all the times they'd talked about so many truly horrible things, he'd never looked this sad and broken. Derek sat with his head in his hands and didn't even bother with the drink. He knew that alcohol wouldn't help.

Jen put a hand upon his shoulder. He turned to look at her and tried to smile, "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks. But shut up about me," Jen said quickly.

"You really are beautiful, Jen," he said thoughtfully, "I'm glad you're going out."

Jen blushed and squinted at him, "Stop stalling. You're upset. What's wrong?"

Derek looked at his shoes and opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come.

"Derek.....," Jen said encouragingly, with her hand on his. He just sat there silent, with tears in his eyes.

"I......," Derek began.

The doorbell echoed through the apartment. "I'll be right back," Jen said softly. Derek looked at her as if to say that he would leave, but she just shook her head "no."

Jen answered the door and smiled tenderly, "Hi," she said as she looked up at her latest visitor. Her breath caught a little taking in the view of his radiant smile, his terrific dark hair, and his beautiful brown eyes. He had dressed up a bit as well. Jen smiled realizing that they were in sync without talking about it.

"Hey, beautiful," he said leaning down to kiss her cheek in a way that had her knees quivering. "Ready?" he asked as he looped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. Jen fell into his embrace and pulled the door closed behind her. Her visitor saw Derek sitting on the sofa watching them.

As the door clicked closed, he asked, "Who's that?"

"A friend. Patrick, he's in a bad place. It's a long story. I need to talk to him. Can we do this tomorrow?" she asked with a mixture of regret and hope on her face.

Patrick sighed more loudly than he meant to do. He looked at her full of longing and then nodded his head toward her apartment door, "Should I be worried?" he asked as he stared at her lips.

"No," Jen replied, "of course not."

Pulling her body closer, he nibbled on her ear and whispered into it softly, "Should I be......?"

Jen pushed him back so that she could look into his eyes. "Patrick Jay Phillips, I think you're jealous."

"Jen," Patrick began, "I'm crazy about you. And you're standing me up at the last-minute for another guy."

"A friend with a problem.......lots of problems," Jen said honestly.

"OK. I'm a guy. And I have to worry. Some guy with Patrick Dempsey hair and bedroom eyes is drinking and crying on your sofa. And you.....," he said, as he increased his grip on her body, "You look like that......."

Jen smiled, thrilled that Patrick cared that much. "You have nothing to worry about," she said as she smiled at him with affection.

"But you look so......hot," Patrick said, leaning in to leave a trail of kisses down her neck and across her bare shoulder.

Jen kissed him and blushed, "I'll change. I'll wear this tomorrow."

"Is he gay?" Patrick asked. "If he's gay, I won't have to worry."

"He's not gay, but he is in love with another woman," Jen said snuggling into Patrick's warm embrace.

"You're sure?" Jay asked doubtfully.

"Yes," Jen said before giggling at his jealousy.

Patrick kissed her deeply and leaned back to look at her. Passion filled the glance they exchanged. "So......," he began, "can I help you change?" he asked suggestively running his hands around her body.

"No, thanks," Jen said as she longed to pull him inside and take advantage. But a tiny part of her brain remembered that Derek was miserable inside. "I'll call you later," she said softly. They kissed again in a way that left them both panting.

"Put on ugly clothes," Patrick said, lust obvious in his voice. "Sweats. Baggy stuff, OK?"

Jen smiled at him adoringly, "Promise."

"You'll still be hot," he said giving her a naughty smile in return.

"Only for you," she said, pulling his lips to hers for one more swoon-inducing kiss.

"Call me," he said breathless as he finally turned to leave.

"I will," she said waving a small wave at him as she watched him walk away.

Jen sighed and stood there staring at him until he was out of sight. Then she took a deep breath and went back inside.