I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 58

After that first weekend with Derek, Trent was thrilled to have found his father. No matter what the topic of conversation, he seemed to find a way to bring Derek up. For days on end, he rattled on about "my dad this" and "my dad that" and "what would my dad say about that." It was completely normal behavior for a kid--especially one so smitten with his newly found father, but the constant conversation about Derek was wearing on both Steve and Meredith.

One night as she checked on Trent before bedtime, Meredith brought the subject up. "Trent, I'm so very happy that you're glad you met your father. I want you to get to know him and love him and be really close to him. I know you're excited, but I was wondering if you could tone it down a little bit. Steve's been like a father to you for your whole life. It's hard for him to hear about your dad nonstop. You can talk about him, but maybe just not quite as often, OK? So it won't be as hard."

"For him or for you, Mom?"

Meredith just gave him a sad look. "You still love him, don't you?" Trent asked.

"I always will," Meredith replied honestly.

"He loves you, too. I can tell," Trent offered hopefully.

"I know," Meredith said softly.

"Then why can't you be together?"

"I'm married to Steve.....Your father and I.......that was a long time ago."

"But.....," Trent began.

Standing up and ending the conversation, Meredith turned to leave, "Trent, just let it lie," she said over her shoulder as she left the room.


[edit added update]


Three years later, Trent and Derek have grown very close, and they talk several times a week. Derek visits him every six weeks or so, and he tries to plan his visits to coincide with baseball games or other events. Trent spends school holidays and a month each summer in Seattle.

Meredith and Derek have kept their conversations focused on Trent. Occasionally, when Derek heard sadness in her voice, he would ask how she was, but she always said she was fine, that she just missed Trent when he wasn't home or that she was tired from the stresses of being a surgeon and raising a teenager and twins.

When they had been around each other, Derek and Steve had been polite enough. There was always tension, and they wouldn't ever be close, but they had silently agreed to let things lie. Derek swallowed his pride for Trent's sake and Meredith's. He sent money and always supported decisions Meredith and Steve made. And he was always appropriate when it came to Meredith.

For his part, Steve had made peace with the situation. They didn't have to see Derek that often, and Steve was grateful to have his family all together most of the time. Meredith simply didn't let herself think about what could have been. It was pointless and too painful. She was happy with Steve and the girls and Trent.

So basically, things were working for everyone. Trent and Derek had time together, and Derek didn't have that big an impact on Meredith and her family. They were all as happy as could be expected.


**********


One day, Derek was getting home after a long day of trying surgeries. As he walked into his apartment, his cell phone rang. He saw the Chicago number and the photo of Trent and grinned, "Hey, pal," he said as he answered. He stopped dead in his tracks and listened carefully.

"Mer? What's wrong? You sound upset. What is it?" Derek asked after hearing her initial conversation.

"He's gone, Derek. I can't find Trent anywhere," she sounded nearly hysterical with worry.

Glancing at his watch, Derek tried to calm her, "He's at baseball practice, Mer."

"No. He's not. I called the coach."

"Have you called his cell phone?" Derek said, trying to be logical and help her calm down.

"At least 400 times. There's no answer," she replied breathlessly.

"What happened? Why are you so worried?"

Meredith started crying, "Trent and I had an argument. A bad one. Steve came down hard on him for backtalking to me. He was grounded, and he was very angry."

"OK. Sounds like normal teenage stuff. Maybe he's hanging out with his friends," Derek said encouragingly.

"He skipped school, Derek. He never showed up and he skipped baseball practice."

"I did this once as a kid. He's just cooling off. He'll come home." Derek remembered the trouble he'd gotten into at about the same age. That has to be what's going on, he told himself.

"Derek, he packed a bag, and none of his friends have heard from him."

Derek finally started to worry.

"His girlfriend said he called her to tell her goodbye--that he was running away."

"Did she say where he was going?" Derek asked, hoping Meredith hadn't asked her.

"No. He wouldn't tell her."

"Have you called the police and the hospitals?" he asked, his blood running cold.

"Yes, but they won't report him missing until he's been gone for 24 hours. I don't think I can make it that long. I'm so worried about him. He's just a kid. He could get into so much trouble."

"He's a smart kid. He'll be fine. Try not to worry," Derek said, trying to convince himself as much as anyone.

"Yeah, like that's possible," Meredith said sarcastically.

"I know," Derek said softly. "I'll try calling him, too. Maybe he'll pick up for me. Do you want me to come to Chicago and help you look for him?"

"No."

"Mer," Derek said calmly, realizing how very much this had upset her, "He'll be OK. He'll....be.....OK."

There was only silence and the sound of Meredith sniffling on the line.

"He will be OK."

"OK."

"I'll call him right now. Call me the minute you hear from him, OK? And I'll call you if I hear from him."

"OK."

"Mer, it's gonna be OK."

Meredith hung up the phone. The dread and the loss she had felt sixteen years earlier were creeping back into her mind. She was beside herself with worry and fear.

*********

Derek dialed Trent's cell number with shaky hands. There was no answer. He left a frantic message and hung up, struck to his very core with fear.