I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 48

I'm giggling that this is a relatively happy-ish update describing Derek's return to Seattle. Relatively meaning that it's not all completely miserable, you understand!!!

And you two can't jump because then you'll miss what happens! And it's been such a long story and you've used so many Puffs..........seems like that would be a waste or something......

Derek woke the next morning and resolved not to spend it in bed. He found a note downstairs that everyone would be gone until Kelly got home on the school bus. Lauren had left him a key and breakfast.

Derek cleaned up, shaved his scraggly face and got dressed. He drove across town to the bar where he first met Meredith. Instead of sitting on the bar stool where he'd gotten his memory back, the one where he'd met Meredith, he sat across the room in a booth and watched his memories unfold in his mind's eye. Sipping a beer, he thought through what he needed to do before leaving town the next day. After only that one drink—he was of a mind not to forget anything yet, only to remember, he drove across town and sat beside his parents' graves a while. He told his mother all about finding Meredith again and how he knew he'd be glad he'd done it in the long run. He cried silently as he thought of the way his mom would try to comfort him if she were there. After sitting there in the peaceful cemetery a while longer, he finally stood and turned to read the headstones. "I'm leaving again tomorrow. I'm not sure when I'll be back. I love coming here to talk to you. I wish I weren't so far away. But I know you understand. Staying here would be too hard. I'll come by next time I visit. I love you."

Nodding sadly, Derek made his way back to his rental car. After one brief stop, he drove back to Lauren's. He sat in the backyard in her swing. He was still there when Kelly came home.

His niece saw him long before he realized she had. She stood there a while gauging his mood. He looked sad, and she really wanted to give him a hug. Her stepmom had told her not to bother him, but she knew she wasn't a 'bother"--not to Uncle Derek. Walking quietly across the yard, she dropped her backpack on the ground and sat in the swing beside him. Without saying a word, she leaned over and put her small hand in his as she had so many times before.

Derek looked down at his dear little niece. "Hey," he said softly, trying to smile at her.

"Hey," she said back as she looked up at him. Turning to look back toward the house, Kelly continued, "Lauren told me that your heart is broke. She said not to mention it, but I figure you know all about it already if it's your heart that's broke."

"You really are a smart little girl, do you know that?" Derek said smiling at her.

"I'm sorry you're sad, Uncle Derek. I hope you feel better soon. Do you really have to go home tomorrow? I wanted to spend more time with you."

"Yeah, sweetheart, I have to go home tomorrow. But how about we see if your parents will let you fly out to Seattle to visit me before summer's over."

"Really? That would be cool! Can I fly by myself?"

"Sure. If you get your parents' permission. The airlines would have a special person to help you get on and off the plane. And I'd meet you at the airport."

"You really would let me come visit?"

"I'm counting on it."

The pair sat there chatting until Lauren came out to tell them that dinner was ready.


********


The next morning, Derek hugged his family goodbye and drove to the airport. He went through the motions of wrapping up his trip. He had expected to be emotional about leaving, but he chuckled sadly to himself when he figured out why this was easier than he had expected--it hit him that his heart had already left Boston........for Chicago.

Derek slept most of the flight home. Still tired despite hours of sleep, he dragged himself off the plane and toward ground transportation. He told himself that he only had to stay awake long enough to hail a taxi and get into his apartment. He could do that. He was standing in the long line of tourists waiting for cabs, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around expecting to need to give directions to a tourist, he was surprised to find Jen standing there.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Wanna ride?" she asked, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"You didn't have to......," Derek began.

"Nonsense," Jen stated. "Lauren called me when you left. She had stolen my number from your cell phone. Sneaky one, that sister of yours. Anyway, she feared you'd just arrive home and fling yourself off a ferryboat, so she called me to be the eyewitness."

Derek had to smile at his friend. She'd say anything to cheer him up, distract him from his pain. She was so precious to him.

Knowing him as well as she did, Jen didn't pump him for any information. The fact that he had returned to Seattle alone said it all. She knew he was broken. She wondered if he'd ever recover. She was determined to help him try.

Insisting upon going up to his apartment with him, Jen walked in and went straight to the calendar he kept in the kitchen. Derek dropped his bag in his room and ambled into the kitchen to see her out. He found her writing on his calendar.
"What are you doing—trying to rack up therapy fees?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Scheduling our Saturday nights. They're back on. Don't fight it. Just show up. Or I'll hunt you down. Capiche?"

"Sure. Whatever," he said in a tone that he knew would annoy her.

"And you bring food and wine for that sarcasm, mister."

"OK," Derek said.

Jen crossed the room and hugged him again tightly. "Call me anytime."

"You sound so easy," Derek said, ducking from the punch he expected to follow his remark.

"In your dreams, neuro-geek," she said laughing.

He walked her to the door and turned serious for a moment. "Thanks for always being there, Jen. You're amazing."

"Yes, I am," she said, giggling as she turned to leave. "You are, too, you know!"

And so the friends resumed their Saturday night friendly therapy sessions and Derek returned to work, and life in Derek's irreparably alterered universe began.