I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 103

Renewed by their quick visit, both Derek and Meredith managed their separation better just knowing that they'd be seeing each other again so soon. They had a marvelous weekend while Derek was in Chicago. They spent one night handing out candy to trick-or-treaters while dressed in their scrubs. A few times, kids had to ring the doorbell multiple times and consider whether tricks were in order, but the happy couple wrenched their lips apart long enough to pacify most of their costumed visitors. Once or twice, a young kid would ask his mom why that man doctor had that pinkish stuff around his lips. The moms usually told their kids that he was a clown doctor, but they recognized the signs of lipstick smeared better than they let on.

After a fantastic long weekend, Derek returned home to Seattle. When he arrived home, he had 18 voicemail messages—all from Meredith. As usual during their time apart, the two exchanged tons of calls, messages, and e-mails. They sent cards—love letters, funny cards, and racy notes that made one another blush and ache even more to be touching. Derek bombarded Meredith with flowers, candy, books, and jewelry, and she sent him books, music, and fishing lures. They made sure to pack their time apart with signs of love and devotion since they crammed extra sex into their times together. But there was as much love and affection between them as there was raw attraction, maybe even more.

They were both struggling this time because the date of their next visit was not yet set. Thanksgiving would likely be spent apart. Trent and Alli were planning to fly to Seattle to spend the holiday with Derek, but Meredith was on call and unable to get away. She and the girls would stay in Chicago. Surely they wouldn't have to wait until Christmas. The very thought caused Derek to shiver. He'd never make it that long.

His first day back at the hospital was difficult. Missing Meredith was hard for him to hide. He could push thoughts of her aside during surgery, but that was it. The rest of the time, she was always on his mind.

After scrubbing in for a difficult procedure, he made his way into the operating room. Dr. Bailey, two interns, and the scrub nurses were already there. "Morning," Derek said to the room, "It's a great day to save lives. Let's have some fun." He nodded to the nurse so that she could start his music. One last sweet thought of Meredith followed by a really deep breath, and he would be ready for this.

As the music began to play, the nurse stammered, "Dr. Shepherd. This is not The Clash."

All eyes were on Derek. He never operated without The Clash playing. But Derek was listening intently and lost in thought. "Sir. I'll find your CD," she said, moving to remove the one that was obviously placed there by mistake.

"No. It is my CD," he said, his smile evident despite the mask.

"It is? Piano music?" she asked, completely shocked.

"Yeah."

Derek could not stop smiling. He immediately recognized the sounds of someone playing "Flying High," "Let's Make Love," and "Let Me Love" you on the piano. Occasionally, he heard Meredith humming along. These were the songs they had danced to at Trent's reception. Later, the music shifted to older tunes--love songs he and Meredith had danced to a lifetime ago. He heard strains of "You Send Me," "Right Here Waiting for You," "My Love," "If You Leave," and "All I Need."

As he worked skillfully and listened attentively, Derek did not notice the looks he was getting from the OR staff. At one point, he paused to dwell on a steamy memory. "Are you OK," Dr. Bailey asked.

"I didn't know she played the piano," Derek said softly as he tried to remember Meredith ever talking about playing.

He returned to his work and to the relaxation the music brought. Not quite an hour into the procedure, the music stopped, and he heard Meredith's voice. He inhaled at the sound of her voice echoing through his OR and paused to hear what she was saying. "We'll let you get back to your surgery and The Clash, Derek. Jenna played the new songs, and Ariella played the oldies. We miss you. You mean the world to me."

He sighed and returned to his work as the nurse put his normal surgery music on to play. "Romantic," Bailey said. "Apparently our chief head case--I mean head of neuro—is in love."

"Yes, Dr. Bailey," Derek said, glancing up at her, "I am." A few minutes later, he nodded to his favorite scrub nurse, "Coco, do me a favor, would you?"

"Sure," Dr. Shepherd," Coco responded.

"Call her. I want to tell her thank you."

"OK," Coco responded, "What's her number?" she asked as she picked up his cell phone.

"She's on the menu. Her name is Meredith."

"Sorry, doctor, there's no Meredith here."

"Oh.....um......," Derek was about to rattle off Meredith's number, but Coco had been too quick for him. She had scrolled through his list of numbers and located what had to be Meredith's number. She burst out laughing. "I found it," she said between giggles.

"Coco," Derek pleaded, "don't....."

"But it's so funny," Coco said, still giggling.

"Now we all want to know," Bailey added.

"It says, "1HotMomsHot4U," Coco said as the giggles spread throughout the room.

"Just dial her for me," Derek said in frustration.

"OK. Sure," Coco said in response.

Derek waited for the phone to be held up to his ear, but Coco had other plans. As soon as the phone was answered, she hit the speakerphone.

"Hey, my dreamy doctor," Meredith chirped enthusiastically.

"Hey, Mer," Derek said softly.

"Did you get your CD?" she asked.

"Yes. And I love it. Honey....."

"Good. I love you. Derek, you have to visit soon. I need you....I want....."

"Mer, you're on speakerphone."

"I don't care who hears," she said, knowing that he had been truly worried about what racy thing she had been on the verge of saying.

"We're in the OR," he said, hoping she'd tone it down if she knew.

"Oh," she said, giggling.

"I loved the CD so much that I couldn't wait to call. Raising an eyebrow in Coco's direction, he continued, "Nurse Coco looked up your number."

Meredith burst out laughing. "And she wanted to hear us talking, huh?" Meredith said smiling.

"Yeah."

"Well, you could have just told her my number, Derek. That would have saved you some dignity."

"Dr. McDreamy isn't the smartest of neurosurgeons, Dr. Parker," Dr. Bailey interjected.

"No, but I love him anyway. Dr. Bailey, is it?" Meredith asked.

"Yes. How did you know?" Bailey was intrigued.

"Derek says that you keep him in line."

"I do."

"McDreamy. That's cute," Meredith said, still giggling.

"Oh, it's making the rounds of the hospital right now. His new name will spread like wildfire. Thanks."

"Yeah," Derek said, "Thanks, Mer."

"Thanks, Dr. Bailey, for keeping an eye on him. I hope he doesn't give you too much trouble."

"I can handle him."

"Mr. Simon's brain is open. Let's return our focus to surgery, shall we?" Derek demanded, needing to stop the conversation while he had any dignity remaining. "I love you, Mer."

"Me, too, Derek," Meredith said softly.

"With all my heart," they both added at the same time. There were aww's and knowing glances exchanged all around. Derek rolled his eyes. "Now I'll have to move to Chicago," he said, smiling, "I won't be able to take the jokes."

"I don't know," Meredith said, grinning back at him over the phone, "Seattle's sounding better all the time."

"I'll call you later when we can chat privately, OK?" Derek said wistfully.

"OK, Dr. McDreamy."

"Not helping, Mer."

"I could share more pet names," she offered.

"No. Gotta go. Love you," he said quickly.

"Bye baby," she said. Coco ended the call and returned his phone to the tray across the room.

"Retractor," Derek said, trying to get the focus back on their work, "You really enjoyed that, didn't you?" he asked Bailey.

"Very much," she said as they worked on Mr. Simon.

The OR was silent for a while.

"You really love her, don't you?" Bailey asked.

"Yes, I do," he said thoughtfully.

"So you'd really leave?" she asked, bringing up a subject Derek had desperately wanted to avoid.

"I don't want to leave. I love it here. But she has kids. It's complicated."

"I see. Does she know?" Bailey asked.

Derek looked up at Bailey before responding. He adjusted his scope and continued working, "No. I haven't told her."

"Why not?" Bailey barked.

"Because she'd feel as if she had to move here."

"So you're lying to the woman you love," Bailey pushed.

"No. I just don't want her to feel pressured."

"Admirable. But would she want you to give up head of neuro right after you got it? And you know the chief has bigger plans for you," Bailey dared to mention a topic not ripe for public conversation.

"Miranda.....," Derek said in a warning tone.

"Oh, they all know. Everyone does. I know you have to do what's good for all of you, but you fit here, Derek. She has a right to know that."

"Thank you for delving into my personal business, Dr. Bailey. Why don't you close up. I'm gonna go call my girlfriend back and say all those things Coco really wanted to hear," he said, marching into the scrub room, eager to avoid any more speechmaking by Bailey.