I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 67

Trent headed upstairs and changed into pajamas. Then he peeked in on his sisters and went down the hall to give his mom a goodnight hug. His mission as man of the house accomplished and seeing that everyone else was tucked in for the night, he ambled back to his room, turned on his iPod, and lay down. At some point, he realized that he must have stared at the ceiling for at least half an hour. Unable to become even remotely sleepy, Trent grabbed his cell phone and dialed his dad.

"Hey," Derek said, also not sounding sleepy at all.

"Hey," Trent said. "I was just going to bed, and thought I'd call you and thank you for coming to my practice today."

"You looked great out there, pal. Not smooth like I was, but hey, not many can be........," Derek said grinning at his own ego-filled boast.

Trent laughed.

"Kidding. You were terrific. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't get courted by college scouts before high school is over."

"Thanks, Dad," Trent said. Derek could hear the grin on his son's face.

"I'm so proud of you, Trent," Derek said, getting more than a little choked up in the process.

There was no answer. Derek paused a few moments, thinking that perhaps Trent had gotten emotional as well. Or perhaps he had fallen asleep. "Trent," he asked softly, "Are you OK?"

Derek still didn't hear anything. He kept telling himself everything was fine, but he had a bad feeling. Then he heard the source of Trent's distraction. The yelling and screaming got louder as Trent ran into his mother's room, still carrying his cell phone.




"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Meredith screamed in a completely hysterical kind of way.




I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong


"Mom, what's wrong?" Trent asked as he looked her over to see what was wrong. She was sobbing morosely. "Take....... me..........to the........hospital..........," she managed to blurt out between sobs. "Hurry!" she said, gripping his arm tightly.

"I'll meet you there," Derek said as Trent checked to see if he were still on the line. Trent, Meredith, and the girls piled into the car quickly and raced toward the hospital.

Across town, Derek threw on some clothes and ran downstairs. He sprinted across the hotel parking lot and jumped into the car. His hotel was much closer to the hospital, so he knew he had a better chance of getting there first.



You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye




In the car, Meredith was inconsolable. "Mom," Trent began. "He'll be OK." Meredith just sat hunched over with her head in her cast-free hand, wailing and sobbing. "Mom," Trent said softly, but urgently, "You're scaring the girls." Meredith was unable to stop. She was overcome with grief and worry—completely devastated.

Trent wheeled into the emergency unloading zone at the hospital, and they left the car parked there. Because they wanted to hurry so much, the elevator up to the ICU seemed to take forever. The faces of its passengers were all marked by the terror they felt. They ran down to Steve's room, seeing it full of hospital staff. However, as they neared the room, Roger was making his way outside. He looked up at Meredith, and she nearly crumpled to the floor when she saw the pain in his expression. "Noooooooo!" she moaned as she rushed on her wobbly legs to push past him into the room and rush to her husband's side.

Roger put his arms out to stop the children from entering. He ushered them over to some chairs in a nearby waiting room and started telling them the very sad news.


You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong




Flashback to Meredith while Trent was in his bedroom:

Meredith was nearly asleep when the phone rang.

"Hey," Steve said when he heard her groggy voice.

"Are you OK?" Meredith asked, quickly becoming more alert.

"I'm fine," Steve said softly. "I just wanted to say goodnight and to tell you that I love you."

"You're so sweet. I love you, too," Meredith said smiling.

After one of those normal little pauses that happens when people reflect upon how those three little words mean so much, Steve started talking again. "Are you happy, Mer? Really happy?" he asked, trying not to sound worried about her answer.

"Of course I'm happy. Aside from wishing you were here with me," she responded truthfully.

"It's just...........The way Derek's been through all of this.........."

"Steve..........," Meredith said, thinking she knew where he was headed with this conversation.

"No. I need to say this. Despite how impossibly hard it must have been for him, he's been your friend......and mine. He asked me once if I could walk away from you and I knew I couldn't."

"Did Roger change your meds, Honey? You're talking crazy. Let's talk about this later. Get some rest."

"No. I wanted you to know that I realize now that I could have. I could have walked away. I didn't, and I'm so glad that I have you by my side, but your happiness is what matters most to me."

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

"You make me happy, Steve. I love you so much."

"You are the center of my universe. I'm sorry if I've been selfish."

"Selfish? You're not selfish. Steve, you are wonderful. I need you so much. You're my family........a wonderful husband............and amazing father. We're fine. We're wonderful. Please don't worry."

"I'm not worried, Mer. I just........," his voice trailed off a bit, "need you to be happy."

"I am happy, baby. I'm coming over. The way you're talking is worrying me," she said, pushing back the covers and throwing her feet over the edge of the bed.

"No. I'm fine. Just........be happy........., Mer........."

At that very instant, the beeping of the alarms on the monitors was deafening.

From that moment until the one when her screams collapsed into sobs, Meredith knew that she was screaming like a mad person, but all she could hear was the beeping of the instruments combined with the sound of her heart breaking into a million tiny pieces.

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye



Goodbye by Air Supply