I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 17

"Mark" shook his hand gratefully and headed home. He was too stressed out to eat, so he just walked slowly upstairs to his room. About two hours later, there was a knock on his door. Justin stood there grinning.

"Mark" was too nervous to say anything. After gaping at Justin a moment, he backed up slowly indicating that Justin could enter. Justin just smiled at him encouragingly and walked into the small room. "May I sit?" Justin asked motioning to the room's only chair. "Mark" nodded that he could.

"You should sit, too," Justin said softly.

Sighing and hoping to calm himself, "Mark" crossed the room and sat on the edge of his bed. "We know who you are," Justin began. "You have a family who were worried sick about you and who........think you're dead..........," he said as gently as possible. "Do you want me to tell you? Is there someone here you'd like to call to be with you?"

"No," "Mark" barely choked out, "There's nobody."

"Are you ready?" Justin asked, not sure how anyone would take this sort of news. "We could.......um.........go to the hospital and talk there if you want......."

"No. Here is better. I'll.....be fine," "Mark" said as he looked at his shoes.

"OK. I'll just start talking. If you want me to stop or if you have any questions or if you need a break, you just let me know, OK?"

"Mark" nodded.

"We'll go slowly and give you time to take it all in," Justin began. "You were right. You are an American."

Justin paused and let "Mark" digest this first tidbit. "Mark" nodded thoughtfully, happy that he'd at least remembered that much correctly.

"Ready for more?" Justin asked. "Mark" nodded and looked up at him. It was strange having a complete stranger tell him things about himself. But he was a stranger to himself, so he supposed there was no other way to go about this.

"You are from Boston. You were right about that, too."

The smallest flash of hope crossed "Mark's" face. He nodded showing that despite the fact that he was scared out of his mind he wanted more........craved more............had to know more.

"You have been in Ecuador for nearly two years.........," Justin said, looking for signs of recognition on "Mark's" face. He found none. "You came here with the Peace Corps. You worked in a remote village near the Amazon. The closest town is Nueva Loja."

"Mark" tried to remember ever being there or hearing of that town. He drew a complete blank. "You helped administer vaccines and teach the people about proper nutrition and health," Justin added. Still no sign that he remembered.

"Are you OK?" Justin asked out of genuine concern. "Yeah," "Mark" muttered. He was puzzling and racking his brain but the job and the town remained absolute mysteries to him.

"Do you want to know your name?" Justin asked inhaling a bit out of nervousness for the man across from him.

"Mark" nodded and swallowed the enormous lump in his throat.

"The Peace Corps takes fingerprints of all of its volunteers. They found your file...........," Justin gulped and delivered the life-altering news. "Your name is Derek. Derek Shepherd."

Derek sat for a while just lost in thought. Finally, he muttered, "Derek........I'm Derek Shepherd," as if he were trying to convince himself.

"Yes," Justin nodded. "You're Derek Shepherd. Your mother and your sisters will be so happy to learn that you're alive. We'll let you tell them yourself."

"I........I don't remember........," Derek said sadly.

"You will," Justin said moving over and sitting next to him. He put his arm around Derek's shoulder. "You remembered Boston. The rest will come back in time."

Derek nodded uncertainly. Justin smiled at him, "You were planning to enroll in medical school last fall. You're going to be a doctor."

Derek sat staring and trying to stop the flashes of memory long enough to grasp a few of them and try to piece them together. He had a past and a family and possibly even a future. He was still afraid and alone and desperate to know more, but he tried to cling to the realities Justin had just described for him. Half-smiling at his informant, Derek said, "Thank you, Justin. Thank you so very much."

Justin returned the smile and patted Derek's shoulder. You deserved to have your life back. Glad we can help you out. Come by the office tomorrow, and we'll work out plans to send you back home. "Okay," Derek said quietly.

"Hey. This is a lot to digest. Do you want me to call the hospital and see if you can talk with someone there about all this?"

"No," Derek said. "I'll be OK. I still don't remember much, but I feel the need to go back.......ho........to the place I belong."

"Sure. We'll get right on that. Goodnight, Derek," he said before walking out into the hallway and leaving for his own home.

"Goodnight, Derek," Derek thought to himself. That sounded good. Those words sounded really, really good. Reclining on the bed knowing that his mind was racing far too much for sleep to come, Derek traced and retraced the information that Justin had told him. He tried to relax and be patient, but he hoped that the rest of his memories would come back to him very soon.