I Will Follow You Into the Dark

CHAPTER 86

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark


Derek almost skipped the reception. Jen had threatened to go talk to Meredith and tell her why he wasn't there. That was the only reason that Derek had consented to go. The reality that he and Meredith might never work out was weighing heavily on him. He strongly preferred the denial he'd been in for so many years. He let Jen drag him into the other ballroom—the one set up for the reception. Jen left Derek at the bar and went to the restroom. By the time she came back, Derek was downing his third scotch.


No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs


"Stop it, Derek. You can't embarrass Trent by getting trashed at their reception."

"I won't. I'm still sober. I'm too tense for alcohol to affect me," he said miserably.


If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark


Somehow Jen knew that really was true. She struck up a conversation with Carson as she walked up to them, leaving Derek to be accosted by his sisters who had arrived at the same time. Naturally, only three of them had been invited to the wedding. And they had come with their families to enjoy the festivities. Derek appeared truly happy to see them and grateful for the distraction. He eventually introduced them all to Jen and Carson, too.

There were moments of blissful family-filled conversation. Derek lost himself in teasing or complimenting or harassing his nieces and nephews. He faked a fainting spell when Kelly came over and sat on the barstool beside him. "Who is this young goddess before me?" he asked in true princely fashion. "Shut up, Uncle Derek. You saw me this summer. I am quite the hot babe, but you're my uncle, so stop it!"

As always, Kelly was able to lift Derek's spirits. He promised her a dance later on, and she told him she'd count on it. Carson made her way through the crowd of familiy members long enough to give Derek a hug and to shoot him a knowing glance. "Not now, Carson. I'm having much more fun in denial," he said. "Sure thing, Derek. But I'm here. OK?" Carson told him.

"Thanks, Carson," he said smiling and throwing an arm affectionately around her. "Hey, can you do me a favor?" he asked as he nodded toward Kelly who was looking a bit bored in the crowd of adults. The other kids in his family had made their way across the room to check out the food they'd soon be eating.

"Sure," Carson said. Derek introduced Kelly to Carson, and Carson took her across the room so that she could meet Jenna and Ariella. Even though the twins were a few years younger than the 14-year-old, the girls hit it off and quickly bonded as they scoped out the room looking for hot teenaged boys to drool over. Derek was quite happy watching the three girls meet and enjoy talking. He adored all three of them so much.

The crowd of Derek's sisters mobbed Jen and the lot of them drifted slightly away from the bar as they gabbed intently. Shrugging and being more than happy not to be caught up in whatever they were discussing, Derek turned his attention back to his scotch. After draining yet another glass, he turned around on his barstool to see whether he should be more worried about what Jen was saying or whether he should go over and drag her away from his sisters before they told her too many of his embarrassing stories. But he never made it far enough to see what they were doing.



In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back


As he turned, he noticed Meredith standing across the room. Jim had his arm around her, and she was smiling at him. God, she's so beautiful when she smiles, he groaned inwardly. Derek glanced at his watch. An hour. I'll stay for exactly one more hour and then I'm out of here, he told himself.


If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
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From her vantage point with Derek's sisters, Jen saw Derek watching Meredith. Then she saw him glance at his watch and set a mental timeline for leaving. As he turned back toward the bar and ordered another drink, Jen saw Meredith look longingly at Derek where he sat miserable and alone. What was that on her face? Desperation? It was way more than just affection. For just a moment, Meredith let down her mask, and Jen saw the ache and the longing and the love that she felt for Derek. As quickly as she had let her guard down, she put it back up and looked away, blinking back tears.


You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms


Jen suddenly knew then what she was going to do. She stayed there with Derek's sisters, chit-chatting happily until she saw Justin, Trent's best friend, and the Maid of Honor Kim enter the room right before Trent and Allison arrived and were announced. Jen excused herself and moved over to sit next to Derek as the newlyweds spun and twirled and murmured "I love you" and kissed feverishly around the dance floor. All too aware of the opposite emotions flowing in the man next to her, Jen glanced over at Derek. He was trying so hard just to be happy for Trent. But it was impossible for him to stop watching Meredith from across the room. And Jen was keenly aware that the glances he was sending were not the only ones being sent between the two.


If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark



As the band played on and other couples filled the dance floor, Jen watched Derek flinch when Jim took Meredith out to dance. That was it. She'd had enough. Derek was a wreck, and Meredith didn't look much better. This was their last excuse to see each other for.........probably forever. Time was running out, and something had to happen. Derek needed closure—even if it killed him. Or he needed his friend back. He was just lost without her as part of his life. The man deserved to know what options were left to him for keeping Meredith in his life—if there were any at all. And since they were too chicken to discuss the matter themselves, Jen decided she would do something to end the silent, staring misery that lay between them.












DUN DUN DUN!



"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie