Chishiya x Reader Oneshots

Pew, Pew!

Don't you dare take this seriously. It's not. It's a pun that only those will understand who have seen a certain post on my tumblr, and I won't apologize. Even though it's not a  x reader Oneshot, I had to put this here. I won't even explain anything. Have fun :D

•♦•♦•

Kuina was having a wonderful day. Really, it was great. Sunshine, cold beer, no game to play in the evening. On top of that a heavenly silence because the Militants were ruffling around somewhere else, so she could simply sit there and enjoy the sun on her body while others were screaming and laughing in the pool.

It was one of the rare moments where she could forget the world around her and pretend that this was the real life, that she could simply walk into the house to see her mother sitting on the couch and reading a book.

And yet, a certain blonde, very intelligent and very condescending man managed to interrupt the peace, which was very, VERY unlikely of him.

"Kuina."

His voice wasn't loud, but it was piercing enough for Kuina to hear it even through all the noise around her. Chishiya was weird, and she didn't like him at times, but today was definitely one of the days where she didn't like him at all. This was not the time for secretive plans and manipulation.

"Uhh?" Opening one eye, she muttered something that could be understood as some kind of answer. She wanted to tell the blonde that he should leave her alone for today, and that she wasn't up for anything super-smart causing her headache - yet none of it left her mouth as she realized Chishiya was wearing sunglasses. Actual, very big and very black sunglasses.

"Yo, Chishiya, what the fuck??"

Kuina couldn't see his eyes, only the mirrored image of herself, and she didn't need to be a genius to know that something was very off. "What the actual fuck?" she repeated, and Chishiya's lips turned into a smirk. Oh, how she hated that smirk.

"You'll want to see this", he finally said and took the sunglasses off his face.

At first there was nothing wrong. He looked as weird as always, with the same cold creepy eyes and the same unwashed hair, but then...

Chishiya shot lasers out of his eyes. Just like that. Two beams of pure white light, emerging from his eyes and burning holes into the ground beneath Kuina's feet. Fucking LASERS. Out of his eyes.

It took only a heartbeat before the blonde put the glasses back on, while Kuina was still staring at the smoking black spots next to her feet. Holes. Shot by lasers. From Chishiya's eyes.

"What. The. FUCK."

Kuina frantically looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, but no one was paying them any attention. Not even Chishiya acted as if this was something special. He simply stood there, one hand now tucked in his pocket while the other held a bag of chocolate cookies.

And that asshole dared to eat the cookies while Kuina couldn't even close her mouth or phrase a proper sentence.

"Don't... don't you want to explain what just happened!?" She uttered in disbelief, but the blonde slightly shook his head.

He stuffed another cookie into his mouth, adjusted his sunglasses and made a gesture that looked like a pistol while saying "Pew, pew!"

Then he disappeared within the crowd of cheering people who didn't have a single clue that one of them had somehow turned into an X-Man. And Kuina had so, SO MANY questions.