IMMORTALLY PROBLEMATIC

Chapter 48: Don't Play With Fire

Sky did not take a cab rather he walked home. It was a very far distance but he didn't quite mind. He was fuming and felt the best way to calm down was to take a long walk. After sometime he stopped and began to chuckle. He found everything so ridiculous, Pai especially. There was a limit to what he could take and he really was fed up. Was he a garbage dump? That would take everything that was fed to him. Sky knew Pai was not the type to use someone, but in the given situation, he couldn't help but to feel that way. He kept walking but after a while got into a cab. On reaching home. He ran straight into Pai's room. He looked around it, he walked to the bed he made sure to clean himself everyday. That activity made him sane. He picked up the bed sheet and sniffed it, wrapping it around himself in pure ecstacy. He could feel Pai all around. He crumbled to the ground and cried. Sky felt like a baby who was inconsolable. He cried and cried till his whole face became red then he took his anger out on the bedsheet tossing it away and saying " YOU BROKE ME, WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS? Sky felt his chest tighten. He had been through a lot. He eventually calmed down and sat on the floor thinking what would our relationship look like moving forward?
Rain went home. It was no longer his imagination. Payu had truly returned and he was back for him. Rain kept turning to be sure no one was following him. As he got home, he shut his door. He stayed behind the door like there would be a person who would open it forcefully. Rain put one hand over his chest and the other on the door. He could hear his heart skip beats. He waited an hour knowing that by now Payu would be at home. His heart was swollen. It had been so ever since Payu left. There was so much he felt he would have said when Payu broke his heart in the most brutal way imaginable. He had a paragraph, no an essay in his head to pour out. He heaved loudly then opened his door. He went down stairs to Payu's floor. He knocked on the door knowing he would be inside. Payu opened the door, Rain slammed it wide open. "I'm not done talking." He said with a look of disdain in his eyes. Payu nodded his head, moved a step back and said
" You're free. I'm listening." He bent his head.
" I couldn't trust you before, I couldn't afford to do that. You are like a mirror, present when I am, absent when I leave. I can't hold onto you. Now you're here, the next moment you're gone. P'Payu, why did it have to be me? Me with a fragile heart? Me that would love and never question? Me that would stay no matter what? Is it because I'm weak? Friendly? Or because I'm in love with you? Huh P'Payu?"
" Rain, its nothing like that. I have always loved you... I can't stop, it's impossible, and if I have to do it again to make sure you're safe, I would. I know.... my words are worthless now and your mind is made up. I know... I have failed you and can't ....get you back. But Rain know that everything I do, I do for you." Payu said this with broken words, he felt his insides crumble, leaving his exterior with nothing.
Rain hissed and continued " where does that always leave me? The one that was left behind always, everytime. P'Payu, why am I always the first one you abandon? Why? Why? Why? Why can't you hold onto me? Why can't I be behind you cheering you on? Why must my memories be wiped? Why must I be the one who forgets you? When with this cycle end because I can't take it anymore. The pain, my heart, my brokenness when you leave. You're an ass do you know that?"
"Rain? What can I do to make you forgive me? I would never abandon you. I keep getting into situations where I can do anything to help you... I..."
"Suffer."
" Huh"
" Payu I want you to suffer. I want you to know what it feels like when you abandon me and toss me aside like thrash. It... It?"
" Rain, you know I'll never do anything to hurt you."
" P'Payu. I want you to be working with me, I want you to be seeing me everyday but not being able to reach me , so you'll know how it feels." Rain walked towards Payu locked eyes with his then said " never again." Rain stepped back and headed towards the door.
" What if I stay this time?"
" P'Payu you can't even guarantee that for yourself. Don't do this to yourself, just go back to where you're coming from. How many times have you gaslighted me? I'm done." Rain walked out and went to his house. He laid on the bed and shut his eyes.

The next day, Sky was going to work, he met Prapai packed outside. Immediately he say Sky, he readjusted and went to him.
" Even though we are no longer talking, at least let me take you to work." Prapai said confidently. Sky avoided his gaze completely and when he saw Pai didn't move he then asked " is this a joke to you P'Pai , because I'm not laughing."
" Sky I'll make it up to you."
" By showing me how I truly am I liability to you?"
" Sky that's not what this is at all!"
" You want to get angry?"
" Of course not but I..."
" Want to call me a waste?"
" Sky can you stop?"
" Pai, you started it." Sky laughed sarcastically and continued " I'm just stating the facts you gave me. Didn't you know it hurt when you dished them out." Sky laughed again. " P'Pai, just give up. I'll never be in your space again so stop trying. I'll never be in love with you again. So save yourself the unnecessary heartbreak. I experienced it for both of us you don't have to."
" Sky Naphon!"
" Prapai! Don't fucking mess with me again." Just then a car stopped and inside was a driver who came out to open the door for Sky. He walked towards the driver brushing passed Prapai's shoulder. He turned and looked at him and said " since that incident that you couldn't even pity me, I got the fear to get into anything that has to do with immortals, you included. P'Pai, I'm never coming back to you."
Sky got into the car, he brought out his head through the window shouted " I was generous enough to leave your position for you. It was a lot of explanation and I wasn't ready. So from now you're just Khun Prapai to me." Sky put his head back in and through the rear mirror he saw a distraught Pai put both hands over his head. His mind was set, Rain's mind was also set, for every measure of suffering they had gone through, they would put Prapai and Payu through and they were both very confident of one thing, Pai and Payu loved them with all their beings.